"Happy Holidays You Fat Crap!"

“Happy Holidays You Fat Crap!”

Merry Christmas, Santa!

Having a good year?

Treating those elves with care?

Stuffing your face with those cookies your wife makes?

Well, listen here!

While you’re stuffing your round, red face,

You forgot to give me that bike I wanted!

Yeah, that’s right, you jerk!

You forgot my gift!

I was good all year!

I worked my hands to the marrow in my bones!

And you forget what I want most!

If you forget this year,

You’ll wake up to an Uzi in your mouth,

Or maybe my dad’s old hunting rifle!

How about that?!

Merry Christmas you fat crap!

Happy Chanukah to anyone who celebrates it,

Happy Kwanza to any of you guys too,

And happy New Year, you over weight turd!

-Lil’ Tommy