Soaring, diving, shreiking, swirling,
nasty, chip shop sausage twirling
seagulls in thier droves descend
so watch your fish and chips my friend.
A renegade cacophany,
just stay the fuck away from me
you're waiting there to steal my tea,
Oi! piss off and let me be.
Nasty seagulls steal and beg,
look that one's only got one leg,
his mate there's only got one eye,
you wonder how the buggers fly.
Patrolling beaches night and day
the seagulls never go away,
the screechy skurmish of the bay,
they're shitting on your sunny day.
They're shitting on your clothes and hair,
they're shitting on your picnic too,
they're shitting bloody everywhere,
they're happy when they shit on you!
So when you see one,
eyes all beady
hopping on his club foot, greedy
waiting for his stolen feedy
watch his every move indeedy!