A very short tale of Insomnia

I suffer from insomnia

insomni-omni-omnia

I fear there is no cure.

'Hey, Doctor, it ain't easy man,'

I beg him, 'please release me,' and

he shows me to the door.

'Go home and bake a cake,' he says

'or chew a rhino steak,' he says

'try hard to stay awake,' he says

'this works for rich and poor.

Don't waste time counting goats,' he says

don't fill your ears with oats,' he says

'just launch this trick, you'll find it floats

Or I'm Sir Roger Moore:

Instead of sweating in your bed

with problems buzzing round your head

imagine something dull instead

this promise I will keep:

start cataloging boring facts

in your mind make an almanac

quite soon you'll find you've learned the knack

of dropping off to sleep.'

And so I took his sound advice

I tried it once, I tried it twice

I tried it until dawn tapped on my door

And lo, when it was time to rise

I couldn't open up my eyes

and very soon my head began to snore!

My boss at work was very kind

he said he really didn't mind

my being late for ten consecutive days

He said, 'your sleep is more important,'

reccommended unemployment

very kindly sent me on my way.

So now I have no job to keep

and now I have all day to sleep

and soon a cardboard box willshape my bed

Insomnia, a memory dim

like food, and membership of gym

It looks like I will sleep well 'til I'm dead.