He'll Be Sleeping on the Couch Tonight
By Elton Camp
A wife in front of a long mirror stood
Didn't look as she thought she should
"My hair is just a terrible mess
And I'm way too fat, I guess."
"My skin is dry and pasty white.
Plus my feet are a horrible sight."
Her husband was taking it all in
Fussing at him, she did begin
"Unless you come to my defense,
You'll wish you were miles hence."
To make me feel better you must try,
But what you say cannot be some lie."
"Husband, have you any good to say?"
"Certainly, dear, your eyesight is okay."