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ABSURDY TURDY MAN

Poetry By: garrycroft
Humor



CALL A SPADE A BLOODY SPADE WILL YOU!


Submitted:Dec 7, 2012    Reads: 65    Comments: 10    Likes: 6   


ABSURDY TURDY MAN

It used to be "made to measure"

Sometimes it was "tailor-made"

But I refuse to bespoke to in that manner

Using language that's such a charade.

Fries are chips, I'm not changing my way

Cynical when they say "Have a nice day"

We all know their hands are behind their backs

Fingers in v-shape and " Don't give two fucks".

Companies change words, they think it's the answer

Frivolous phrases with "modernised" banter

Gutter-cleaner's not under "g", I fear

But under "logistical drainage engineer".

They've changed my work

Introduced a new term

Part of a "family"

…but I've got one with sperm!

No longer a Storesman

Where's my defibrillator

… …...I'm a "generic materials facilitator".

So I made my way for some bowel extrication

Emptying the entrails of colonic mastication

Crucible of defecation was so full of shit

Used my palm-faced dexterity module to get rid of it.

I grabbed for the posterior petter- we had none left

My pivotal urinary gristle was looking rather bereft

My intimate ovulation partner was near at hand

"Proactivating" my anus to reach dry land.





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