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NO SENSOR HUMOUR IN MALLORCA

Poetry By: garrycroft
Humor



YOU'VE GOTTA LAUGH...HAVEN;T YOU...MAYBE NOT THEN


Submitted:May 11, 2013    Reads: 43    Comments: 5    Likes: 3   


NO SENSOR HUMOUR IN MALLORCA

Came to Mallorca...........expecting a scorcher

Arrived in Palma.............could have been warmer!

Driving past Inca............weather a stinker

Passing Pollenca............clouds getting denser.

Port De Pollenca............ folks getting tenser

No heat dispenser..........deserving a censor

Member of MENSA..........couldn't work heating sensor.

The centigrade was retrograde for the time of year

I was colder than a nudist on a Scottish pier

Chattering teeth not Mediterranean heat

Cold underneath, sat on that toilet seat.

Our "beautiful" villa named.... "Can Lyonder"

Had plenty of blankets..............can lie under.

Arty junk to provide some funk

Elephants trunk? Better viewed blind drunk.

Stuck in watching tele was not my style

Kiddies TV and "know-all" Jeremy Kyle

Eighty three channels of complete and utter shit...

Electrics blow again....where the fuck's that switch!

Rang up for help from the............. representative

Her attitude led me to be................argumentative

For my good mood proved........... a preventative

Willingness to help........................ somewhat tentative

To the cold and my plea.................most insensitive.

"How should I live then?".............."like a primitive?"

She said "Hire some heaters!"

I thought- "Bloody cheaters!

She said "It's always warm here"

I thought- "You'll get a thick ear."

Weather did improve and frustrations subsided

But policy of "no heat" was seriously misguided

In protest I thought I would show no constraint

Send them this poem as a letter of complaint.

(so I did...I bet they're quaking in their boots!)

┬ęGarry Croft May 2013





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