Our Holiday.

Flying to the Canaries on a jet plane 
Beautiful islands that form part of Spain 
Near to Africa in the Atlantic ocean 
Better make sure we have sun tan lotion. 

Islands of contrast, volcanic, and green 
Tenerife, Lanzarote, each warm and serene 
Leaving behind the rain, wind, and snow 
Flying above France, and the region of Bordeaux. 

Far below the Atlantic shimmers and shines 
As we sit in the cabin sipping fine French wine 
Food is delivered and served at our seat 
I'll give that a miss, looks more like dog meat. 

Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land 
Looking outside, the view is just grand 
We bank to the left, then right, on approach 
Collecting our luggage then off for our coach. 

Warm winter sun shines on our faces 
Tee shirts and shorts await in our cases 
Our driver is Manuel, a fine Spanish guy 
I wish he'd slow down, before we all die. 

Our tour guide announces our hotel is right here 
Thank Goodness for that, I need a strong beer 
But what is this? This is wrong I determine 
Our lovely hotel is full of damn Germans. 

My dislike of Germans is not without reason 
They insist on going topless, whatever the season 
Now this is just fine if your pert and quite neat 
But not if your breasts go down to your feet 

Not to worry I say, let's go and explore 
Before I ignite, a new second world war 
Off to the bars, the clubs, and the sea 
Sangria, paella and a welcome ice tea. 

Our second day means a trip that I like 
Not in a car, a bus, or a bike 
No, my friend's we are on a hoofed mammal 
Our adventures involve a ride on a camel. 

After our ride I need a stiff drink 
Nobody told me that the humped creatures stink 
Now we are going to a wild west night 
This should be fun I say in delight. 

As a child I did wonder as I lay in my bed 
Do you think cowboys were "Right in the head?" 
What was the fun in riding wild horse 
I knew I would hit the deck with great force. 

My horse wasn't real, I was glad of that 
A metal bucking bronco surrounded by mats 
I lasted ten seconds on this metal wild boar 
Before I was firmly dumped on the floor. 

Next it is time to go wet and wild 
Visiting a water park, I feel like a child 
Down the slides and chutes without a care 
Into the splash pool, my feet in the air. 

Our hotel is just great, food is just grand 
I even have time to play on the sand 
I lay on my sunbed, book in my hand 
Our holiday is going exactly as planned. 

The Germans annoy me and make me see red 
By leaving their towels on the sun beds 
But don't worry folks, this girl's no fool 
I just simply launch them, into the pool. 

Swimming was fun in our hotel pool 
The water was deep, refreshing and cool 
Lazing around on my crocodile float 
Better watch out for those German U Boats. 

So you see my friends our holiday was fun 
A week in Lanzarote, basking in sun 
My week was complete when I saw the tail fin 
Of Lufthansa flight ten, off to Berlin.