An Ode To My Ex on Valentine's Day

I feel sorry for my ex,

My former prince charming,

As he must find Valentine’s,

Simply quite alarming.

Now, should he buy her flowers?

Or should he take her out?

Will it make her suspicious?

Will he provoke more doubt?

You see my former idol

Embarked on an affair,

Was caught with trousers down;

Strangely, wife declined to share.

Now if he ignores the day

She’s likely to get mad

The poor bastard just can’t win

Don’t you think that’s so sad?

And I’m sure you all can tell

‘I’ wouldn’t do him harm

Say to him, ‘go break a leg’

To her, ‘his bloody arm’.