Diary Entry 4 My Not My Agent (typo's corrected!)

I wouldn’t like to say, ‘my not my agent is a crook’,

And he was canny enough to publish his own book,

But I would’ve been an idiot to let him get his hook,

Into my money and leave me in the shtuck;

I thought I was being clever when I gave his ego stroke,

And so I asked him to draw me an original joke,

However he proved to be an amateur bloke,

The picture was crap; one hundred quid up in smoke.

I was too embarrassed to say, ‘your drawing is shit’

Besides I was hoping he might like me just a bit;

I didn’t get the option to say, ‘I don’t want it’,

So I simply decided I had to take a hit,

And I wouldn’t say my not my agent was just a little mean,

When he made me pay for lunch, although times for me were lean,

But the truth is I couldn’t bring myself to cause a scene;

Surely he wasn’t exploiting a writer who was green?

He promised he would turn me into a brand,

In the UK and other foreign land,

And I’m sure he only wanted me to understand,

When he told me to get published, it would cost me twenty grand!