I can assure you I am not proud of this story and I have doubts that my daughter is either!
Intended to set example,
But too much vodka to sample
And before I could say, ‘I’m drunk’,
I was being sick as a skunk.
Friend found me reaching in the loo
And sadly the bouncers did too;
Escorted me from club building,
Prying eyes ensured no shielding.
Shocked man said, ‘she’ll be arrested’
And ambulance was suggested;
Off I went with the men in white
Me, too drunk to put up a fight.
Next day awoke in Spanish bed;
Apologised to nurse and said,
‘I’m really not typical Brit’,
She pretended to accept it.
As brain still fogged from night before,
I couldn’t find right hotel door,
But finally it came to sight
And I explained why I’d got tight.
‘When I had stepped straight from the plane,
Was suffering with hunger pain;
I think my drink must have been laced’,
I lied to both of them, red faced.
My daughter who’d slept like a log,
Stood agape, bulging eyes agog,
Rightly cross at where I had been,
Her mother acting like a teen.
Words illustrated appalled face,
‘Mother, you are such a disgrace!’
Winked at her mate with child’s delight,
‘Early night ma, for you tonight’.