Drunken Brit Abroad

I can assure you I am not proud of this story and I have doubts that my daughter is either!

Intended to set example,

But too much vodka to sample

And before I could say, ‘I’m drunk’,

I was being sick as a skunk.

Friend found me reaching in the loo

And sadly the bouncers did too;

Escorted me from club building,

Prying eyes ensured no shielding.

Shocked man said, ‘she’ll be arrested’

And ambulance was suggested;

Off I went with the men in white

Me, too drunk to put up a fight.

Next day awoke in Spanish bed;

Apologised to nurse and said,

‘I’m really not typical Brit’,

She pretended to accept it.

As brain still fogged from night before,

I couldn’t find right hotel door,

But finally it came to sight

And I explained why I’d got tight.

‘When I had stepped straight from the plane,

Was suffering with hunger pain;

I think my drink must have been laced’,

I lied to both of them, red faced.

My daughter who’d slept like a log,

Stood agape, bulging eyes agog,

Rightly cross at where I had been,

Her mother acting like a teen.

Words illustrated appalled face,

‘Mother, you are such a disgrace!’

Winked at her mate with child’s delight,

‘Early night ma, for you tonight’.