My funeral was sparsely attended; b******s!
Damn funeral took place on a Sunday
Seems a heart attack can't compete with touchdowns;
Excuse me for mistiming my exit!
There was no beer or nachos, served at my funeral
How could I ever compete with cheerleaders?
There were no ads selling needless crap on my coffin
As I floated above myself, I watched it all
The few 'friends' who don't like football, I could count on one hand
And all of these had an ulterior motive
See, I had cool stuff, and they were here to see if they got something
Yeah, if you could have seen me floating high above,
You'd have seen the old one-finger salute
But, of course I'm invisible; I'm going to hate this 'dead' s**t!