Humor is a Funny Thing
Just got off the phone with my grandma
She said for me to get hopping, write something to make her say, "ha!"
I've got nothing remotely funny to say in this poem,
but I'd better come up with something by the next time I visit her home
To her, I'm just a joke machine
But I'd better keep the language clean
I'm having trouble coming up with anything at all
The Humor Express has smashed into a wall
But she told me, "Get to work right now!"
This Humor Ship is sinking; it's going down by the bow
Funny is subjective, humor is a funny thing
It's like the supposedly-humorous songs I used to sing
If one guy thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard,
another guy thought it blew. If humor was a bird,
mine would be a wingless freak
that couldn't fly; yes, it would be too weak
Speaking of 'weak', that what all my ideas are
My unfunny ideas won't go very far;
nowhere, in fact; yes, I got nothing,
absolutely nothing that would bring
a smile to her face; and a chuckle to her lips
But I need something before she verbally clips
my wings; but like I've previously said, I aint got some;
I'm sorry grandma, but I'd better stay mum
I know, having nothing never stopped me before,
trying to come up with some more
something that will make her roar,
Some entertaining schtick
I know, I know, I'm making you sick!
"Give it up Mike; save us all a lot of trouble
Yours popped a long time ago; your old humor bubble"
So grandma, if you're reading this poem to be wildly amused,
you're going to be disappointed, because you confused
me with someone who has talent; I just
don't have any; don't strain your eyes; look away; you must!