Humor is a Funny Thing

Humor is a Funny Thing

Just got off the phone with my grandma

She said for me to get hopping, write something to make her say, “ha!”

I’ve got nothing remotely funny to say in this poem,

but I’d better come up with something by the next time I visit her home

To her, I’m just a joke machine

But I’d better keep the language clean

I’m having trouble coming up with anything at all

The Humor Express has smashed into a wall

But she told me, “Get to work right now!”

This Humor Ship is sinking; it’s going down by the bow

Funny is subjective, humor is a funny thing

It’s like the supposedly-humorous songs I used to sing

If one guy thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard,

another guy thought it blew. If humor was a bird,

mine would be a wingless freak

that couldn’t fly; yes, it would be too weak

Speaking of ‘weak’, that what all my ideas are

My unfunny ideas won’t go very far;

nowhere, in fact; yes, I got nothing,

absolutely nothing that would bring

a smile to her face; and a chuckle to her lips

But I need something before she verbally clips

my wings; but like I’ve previously said, I aint got some;

I’m sorry grandma, but I’d better stay mum

I know, having nothing never stopped me before,

trying to come up with some more

something that will make her roar,

Some entertaining schtick

I know, I know, I’m making you sick!

“Give it up Mike; save us all a lot of trouble

Yours popped a long time ago; your old humor bubble”

So grandma, if you’re reading this poem to be wildly amused,

you’re going to be disappointed, because you confused

me with someone who has talent; I just

don’t have any; don’t strain your eyes; look away; you must!