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"Jim-Bob's Construction"

By: Mike Stevens

Page 1, A poem ad about a good old boy\'s construction company.

“Jim-Bob’s Construction


“Yee-haw! How would you like a great

deal on anything you need repaired? Do you hate


charges, then they hand you an impossibly-huge bill, and it

seems so outrageous, it takes all your will

just to remain upright? They claim it’s fixed, but still

the problems persist,

and you add “rip-off” to your list

of grievances? Well, we’ll

never overcharge you for some deal

that should cost a lot less. Howdy, I’m Jim-Bob

Johnson, and I own my own construction company, that won’t rob

you blind. Yee-haw! After my crew gets done

with the job, we’ll all sit around with you, not run

away as soon as we have your money. We’ll shoot

the bull with you, and slam a s**t-load of beer, and we boot

those high prices right in the gonads. “Yee-haw!”

We’re bonded, because it’s against our law

to do substandard work, and, if your house falls

down in a huge pile of s**t after we’re done, your gall

won’t cause you to scream in frustration, you will be protected,

and you won’t be subjected

to the pain-in-the-a** of having to

sue our butts to try to collect. Do

you really want that hassle? Neither

do we. We hire enough workers who either

don’t want trouble with the law, or

have a warrant out for

their arrest, so they want to lay low

And we work lightning-fast, not super-slow,

thereby milking you dry, like you’re a fricking cash cow

We’ll save you a s**t-load of money, and how,

Yee-haw! So, take it from ‘ole Jim-Bob, call

us to fix your s**t, you won’t be sorry, at all!”

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