“Launch all Cookies!”
By Mike Stevens
I remember one instant from my shameful past
It was one of the first times I over-indulged, but it wouldn’t be the last!
My friends and I were celebrating, I don’t remember why
Whatever the reason, it must have been summer cause we were mighty dry!
We’d been guzzling beer, cause we were the thirstiest guys on Earth
Anyhow, I staggered home with the worst
hangover any teenager has ever had
I had the spins, and I had them bad!
I somehow managed to climb the stairs to my room
I also somehow missed the sense of impending doom
Like the smart teen I thought I was,
I lay down, but was soon up again because
I suddenly knew I was about to ralph
I thought I could make it to the john, so I headed south,
down the stairs to where the can was at
But halfway down, I launched a big fat
geyser of sickness liquid, all down the stairs,
and in my drunken state, it just wasn’t fair
to make me think up a good excuse
for why there was a river of sickness juice
running down the staircase; but before I could think,
for I’d had way, way too much to drink,
there was mom; she’d heard me have a problem;
one in which the flow of sickness liquid, I could not stem!
“What happened, Mike,” she asked of me
The only thing I could think of was lie, it seemed
“I don’t know, I must have the stomach flu!”
my mom bought it, but Dad, he knew the truth
My mom cleaned it up as best as she could
I went back to bed, knowing I should
help, but I was sick as a dog
Once back in bed, I was out like a log
Mom went with Dad back in their room; “I
feel so bad for Mike; and in the middle of the night!”
my mom said. He replied, “Why, he had too much to drink, and went to bed.”
See, Dad had been there, many a time, had felt that sense of dread
The next morning, with my head pounding,
I got a lecture from Mom, sounding
very disappointed in my lack of judgment
I was wondering myself, where it went!
Why I ever thought down the stairs to the can I could make
I hadn’t learn yet how much I could take
I learned the hard was; not that much
I learned to open my window, when my stomach I did clutch!