"Launch all Cookies!"

“Launch all Cookies!”

By Mike Stevens

I remember one instant from my shameful past

It was one of the first times I over-indulged, but it wouldn’t be the last!

My friends and I were celebrating, I don’t remember why

Whatever the reason, it must have been summer cause we were mighty dry!

We’d been guzzling beer, cause we were the thirstiest guys on Earth

Anyhow, I staggered home with the worst

hangover any teenager has ever had

I had the spins, and I had them bad!

I somehow managed to climb the stairs to my room

I also somehow missed the sense of impending doom

Like the smart teen I thought I was,

I lay down, but was soon up again because

I suddenly knew I was about to ralph

I thought I could make it to the john, so I headed south,

down the stairs to where the can was at

But halfway down, I launched a big fat

geyser of sickness liquid, all down the stairs,

and in my drunken state, it just wasn’t fair

to make me think up a good excuse

for why there was a river of sickness juice

running down the staircase; but before I could think,

for I’d had way, way too much to drink,

there was mom; she’d heard me have a problem;

one in which the flow of sickness liquid, I could not stem!

“What happened, Mike,” she asked of me

The only thing I could think of was lie, it seemed

“I don’t know, I must have the stomach flu!”

my mom bought it, but Dad, he knew the truth

My mom cleaned it up as best as she could

I went back to bed, knowing I should

help, but I was sick as a dog

Once back in bed, I was out like a log

Mom went with Dad back in their room; “I

feel so bad for Mike; and in the middle of the night!”

my mom said. He replied, “Why, he had too much to drink, and went to bed.”

See, Dad had been there, many a time, had felt that sense of dread

The next morning, with my head pounding,

I got a lecture from Mom, sounding

very disappointed in my lack of judgment

I was wondering myself, where it went!

Why I ever thought down the stairs to the can I could make

I hadn’t learn yet how much I could take

I learned the hard was; not that much

I learned to open my window, when my stomach I did clutch!