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"Light up the Pie"

Poetry By: Mike Stevens
Humor


A poem in honor of Mother's Day


Submitted:May 5, 2011    Reads: 51    Comments: 3    Likes: 2   


"Light Up the Pie"

Made-For-T.V. Movie

"Grandma's going to make you a pie." Well, it's 'Light,

and Get Away!'

"No, that's okay, grandma." the kids want to say

but there would be no stopping her from trying

When grandma tries to cook, people are lucky not dying

This movie burns white-hot,

for a good cook, grandma is not

All her grandkids try to discourage her,

but the kindly lady insists on trying to stir

up something. She can't even boil water

When she cooks, it's a culinary slaughter

From her raw burgers, to her char-broiled treats,

this crazy woman should just take a seat,

and let someone else do the cooking

Her food will sneak up and hurt you, if you're not looking

We're now hard at work on the sequel,

"Grandma Serves Time" and all things being equal,

it, like this movie, should be absolutely awesome

You'll never view something served by your grandma; lum-

ps of inedible s**t, quite the same way, ever again

They might get served something rotten, or, is it a cin-

der that used to be some food

Then, they're screwed. Not wanting to be rude,

they'll force themselves to choke it down

Yes, the kid's all ralph, when grandma's around

So they choke it down, then, looking like a bug-eyed freak,

they'll run for the bathroom to blow chunks. They'll reek

like hell when you give their grandma a hug goodbye

"Thanks, grandma, for the awesome-tasting, flaming

pie!"






2

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