“Men of the forest; are you tired of being left out?
Is the fact you’re working tork your little snout?
Can’t drink because that chainsaw takes both hands?
We are one company that understands
Introducing Lumberjack Larry’s Party Saw
We say, “So what if it’s against the law?”
We know that you, as a hard-working lumberjack,
cannot partake of that ice-cold half-rack
the clean-up crew bought and brought,
because, after all, is so fricking hot
You keep on cutting, but, oh, how you’re pissed
At a relaxing, ice-cold beverage, you’ve again missed
out. What if we told you we’ve come up with a way
you can keep working and chug cold beer all day?
We’ve come up with a brand-new invention,
one that defies today’s weak-a** convention
You know, the one that says its very wrong
to operate machinery with a hardcore buzz on
These are probably the same girls who only drink tea
Real men know drinking spirits is the only way to be
That’s why we’ve included a hook-on tank
that’s refrigerated; like the beer at home you just drank
Simply fill it up with your favorite beverage,
and insert the 5ft. of rubber hose, for hands-free suckage.
Beer, a mixed drink, water or pop
But you didn’t buy from us, if you see a cop!”