My Family Tree!
My family tree seems too bizarre to be true,
But I swear it’s not made up in any way!
My mother actually did wear combat boots,
She was in the Army when she met my father;
They met at a strip Twister party,
And fell in love when both reached their left hand
For the same green dot; you could say it was love at first twist!
My father, whose name was Bertram, had a brother, Mike Stevens,
Who worked gluing car fenders to new cars,
And when I came along, my parents decided
To honor him by also naming me Mike
When he heard about it, Uncle Mike climbed out
Of his 1953 Placard he was living in at that time,
Opened the bottle of malt liquor he was saving
To watch the demolition derby with my father,
Toasted, “Here’s to me!”, and guzzled it, even at 6 am!
I’ve always thought that showed how much he really cared!
I’ve always been told we are exactly the same age,
But I have yet to figure out how that works
Maybe, when I was a kid, Uncle Mike acted the same way,
I don’t know, so maybe it was meant figuratively, not literally!
Then, there was my Aunt Garth; often confused as a man
With that name; but I guess my great Aunt Beulah
And Great Uncle, also named Mike,
Wanted a boy badly, that when the baby was a girl,
They refused to accept it, and never changed the name
Aunt Garth ran away, and not a lot is known about her
After I was born, my parents decided not to have anymore children;
Maybe they saw how high I set the bar
And figured there was no way a child could live up to me,
I don’t know; but there it is, my family tree!