Poem--Space Place

Space Place

Dean, the bastard, totally-mean spaceman

was looking for some hot-looking land

and he’d heard that land was cheap on the moon

The other astronauts thought him a buffoon

Dean figured he could be the first guy

and at this thought, he got a wicked gleam in his eye

to build cheap-a** condos and rent them out

Oh, sure, there wasn’t much call now, but he had no doubt

soon, he’d be the owner of a real cash cow

He’d just wait a few more years, and 'pow'!

Here on the Earth, home prices were going out of sight

That people were looking for an alternative, he was sure he was right

Then he could gloat as prices took off like a rocket

People would line up to throw gold in his pocket

He’d be proven correct and he’d have the last laugh

Then, these morons wouldn’t think he was daft

Because he was so mean, at first, the rents would be low

Word of mouth would spread, but little did they know

that once they were moved in, and been there a few months,

that once they were totally hooked on the moon’s hunts--

err--haunts, their rents would go up, and up, ‘till Dean had enough,

and when they complained, Dean would just say, “Tough!”

He’d pick yet-another planet, and then he’d build again

He’d build casinos and liquor stores, whatever’s your sin

There would be obscene profits, out of this world

He would rake in the dough, until he had squirreled

enough away that he could retire, rich

But, one day, years after buying, Dean exclaimed, “Well, I’ll be a son of a b***h!”

20 years had past and Dean was totally stumped

No one had bought a condo, and Bob needed cash to be pumped

into his bank account, he had a lot of bills to pay,

in order to keep the fricking leach-creditors at bay

The last time we saw old Dean and his wonderful plan,

he had gone t***-up on his fricking “Lunar Land”