Life in the Dorm
By Mike Stevens
A Sergeant Shriek Poem
“Get your candy-a***s out of the rack,
Yes, your hell begins well before the crack
of dawn. Move, move, move!
If you’re not up in 5 minutes, your lives will be screwed!
Well, to be perfectly honest, they’re screwed anyway,
because you’re here with me; can you say,
“I’m a just moron, and Shriek knows best
He’s going to put me to the anti-moron test!”
So, ladies, hit the bricks! Come on, you bunch of dip-s***s!
Here you panty-waists sit;
like the lumps of lazy crap you
apparently are; too lazy to even move!
They told me to expect the worst,
but what I’m seeing as a matter of course,
is a bunch of walrus-butted dainty faces!
Even that statue out front of this place
moves quicker than you all do!
I expect you all to be ready to run, fools!
“But what about chow?”, I heard someone say
The only thing you’ll be eating is the dirt, okay?
No soldier of mine puts food before pain
I hear somebody mumbling, “This bastard’s insane!”
Just because one of you thinks he’s got comedy talent,
you’re all going to be wondering where all the miles went,
that every one of you has to run
extra: wearing full pack and your gun!
Now I suggest getting out that door right now;
That I’ve got to break you down, and build you up again, I’ve got to think on how!”