The Elusive Neon Donkey Dance

The Elusive Neon

Donkey Dance

You know that feeling you get, that feeling

when you’ve had too much to drink, and you’re reeling

around in circles, in a futile attempt to keep

your balance, before you fall down in a heap?

You stagger and stagger, but you’re already spinning

It’s a losing battle that you’ve no chance of winning

But you keep on trying, ‘cause you know

once you lay down, it’s all over, so

you must stay upright, keep on moving your feet

But you’re already feeling like a sack of dead meat

‘Cause you don’t want to heave,

round and round you drunkenly weave

This time is known as, “The Elusive Neon Donkey Dance”,

as you try not to spew, but you don’t stand a chance

All your friends gather around you, with s***-eating grins

They crack up finally, when you take a fall, and the heaving begins

Now they can do to you whatever they want,

‘cause you’re so out of it, they keep on, undaunt-

ed, because they know you won’t recall a thing

They strip off your clothes, then they fling

them in a tree, and drive your drunk a**

downtown, and floor-board the gas

pedal away from your now-passed-out form

You come to in a driving, pouring rain-storm

You can’t recall getting here, but you’re in the city

After only a few steps, you’re feeling mighty s*****y

You get sick, and then you see you’re buck-

naked. And then you hear the unmistakable sound of laughter. 'This sucks!'

You’ve been spotted, and a large crowd

soon gathers around you, and guffaws at how little you’re endowed

With no place to hide your shortcomings,

you have no choice but to take off rumming--

err--running up the street to get far away

How will you ever explain this, what can you say?

Now, you’re going to have to move out of this town,

“cause word of this will surely make the rounds

So take this bit of good advice:

Avoid doing The Donkey Dance, for the result won’t be very nice!