"Hey kids; do you want a T.V. show all
of your own? Not that pornographic s*** that they call
'Adult Entertainment'? How about 'Non-Grown-up'
Entertainment'? Well, wish no more! Your 'Fun Cup'
will be overflowing. Introdu-cing,
and, after watching it, you just can't loose,
The Rhyming Ray Big-Time Fun Hour
Finally, a show for kids to watch that won't leave a dour,
"Man, This Show Sucks!" frown upon your
face. Rhyming Ray will keep you coming back for more
See, Ray understands children more than most
He was dropped on his head as a child, so soon you'll boast,
"At fricking last; a grown-up who thinks like a child!"
Ray will not only entertain you with rhymes, but, and this is wild,
he sticks his hand in a sock, and suddenly, the sock is "Alive"
But have no fear, the sock is clean, so, "Give him a high-five!"
Yep, you got it. Make new friends with his sock-puppet creations,
and for his rhymes, Ray uses different variations
on the theme, "Being a kid blows! I wish I was cool,
instead of being an uncoordinated fool"
So, each poem is its own tale,
about how much you'd like to wail
on an adult; of your frustrations, and about your wish to tell
some adults to "Go to hell!"
Yes, Rhyming Ray understands
how you want to give adults the back of your hand
But, since, if you did, that adult would beat you to s***,
you should just watch Ray's show, and never admit
just how much you hate their guts
If you act on that hatred, you're fricking nuts
There's absolutely no way you'll be able to
watch Ray's show, if you're in prison. So, if you
assault someone, it can't be undone
Ray knows all about life on the run;
your not wanting to be caught, so you're on the lamb
So, please, please, don't do anything unwise and get in a jam
Rhyming Ray believes its okay to wish someone dead,
but don't hit them with a shovel, and cave in their head
Ray knows all-to-well, just how much the big-house sucks,
what with its cruelty, and its violence run amok
So, if you have to, change your name,
just like Ray did, so then you and he will be the same
And now, if you mention our ad,
you can buy the same mask that Ray wears. Don't be sad
If you call right now, we'll send you a pair, just in case
you know, just in case you have an extra-wide face
So, come-on, kids, watch Rhyming Ray's new show,
if there's "Adult" things you've just got to know!"