"Whatever It Takes"
"Follows a bunch of bastards as they do
'Whatever It Takes' to win, and screw
over people who abide by the rules
By cheating, they're really booting honest people, in the family jewels
These bastards know every dirty trick in the book
These doorknobs will never be mistook
for some fine, upstanding dudes
Instead, they're mean and rude
Yes, finishing first is all they give a s**t about
If they come in second, these poor-sports pout
and complain that it, "Just wasn't fair!"
The other competitors, they don't care
if they happen to come up a little bit short
of first place, they were only in it for fun, not to abort
all the good memories, all the good will
No matter that they lost, they still
have a good time. But the fun of competing is lost
on these dudes. If they lose, all the others get is a frost-
y, ice-cold, hateful, vengeful "death stare."
and crying and name-calling, is none-too-rare
See, all of them are being pushed to win by
their immature fathers, who are living vi-
cariously though their poor children
If they win, great. But if they should lose, then
they are told that, "Second's for losers!"
Then they are told they have to win by their boozer
father, who thinks they've been coddled and protected their whole sissified
by their mother. If they win, it's, "high-fives!"
But if they don't, oh boy, look out,
for their bastard dad's have forgotten what sports are supposed to be about
They are looked at like something that's stuck to the bottom of dad's shoe
"No kid of mine ever lo-
ses! I've been disgraced."
They look at their kid with a totally disgusted look upon their face
The real reason they think that way
is that they were picked on when they'd play
sports. See, they sucked the big one,
and looked like a pansy when they'd run
"But, Junior, he'll never be picked on, 'cause he'll win and be tough
Just enjoying the game is not fricking enough
He's got to kick some a**! Winning is all that
"If there's some kind of record, he will shatter
it! No one will be able to laugh at my kid,
'cause winning defines who you are. If, somehow, he did
manage to lose, then he sucks as a person, and I'll fly into a rage
No kid of mine will take the gas pipe on the athletic stage!"
Yes, their father is a complete embarrassment to "Little Junior"
All their dad cares about is coming out on top in the final score
So, tune in our movie and see the awful, albeit
real truth. See what your dad's been feeding you, is pure bull-s**t!