Goldilocks and the Three Bears

(A Twisted Fairytale)

Goldilocks was a terrible child

She gave all the townsfolk hell

Always going in their houses

Since she was the Mayor's daughter

They let it slide grudgingly

They knew payback was forthcoming

In the woods lived 3 bears

Mama bear, Papa bear and Teenage bear

One morning sitting down to eat their breakfast

Of rutabagas, carrots and potatoes

They all exclaimed at once, "too hot!"

So off they went for a walk

Meanwhile Goldilocks looking for devilment

Came upon the little house in the woods

"Ooh," said Goldi, "I wonder who lives here?"

She went inside, following her nose

She saw the 3 plates of food on the table

She sat in the big chair and tried the rutabagas

"Eww, nasty," "yuck what is this?"

So she sat in the medium chair, trying the carrots

"Boring," who would eat this junk?

Finally sat in the little chair and ate the potatoes all up

"Now that was some good eats," she said

"I'm so tired, I'll take a nap"

She went up the stairs, nosing around

Jumped in the biggest bed, messing up the covers

"Nah., this bed is too hard on my delicate self"

She jumped in the medium sized bed, throwing the covers on the floor

"Oh my god, this just won't do, too lumpy"

So she jumped in the little bed, and said, "Ah"

She even put on the little nightgown

Soon she fell sound a sleep

By now the bears hungry, started home

Upon opening the door, they knew someone had been there

Papa went to his plate, "someone played in my rutabagas!"

Mama went to her plate, "someone mashed my carrots!"

Teenager went to her plate, "someone ate all my potatoes!"

So off they went to investigate the rest of the house

They went upstairs and crept quietly to the bedroom

Papa said, "someone's been in my bed and messed the covers up"

Mama said, "someone's been in my bed and threw the covers on the floor"

Teenager said, " Oh hell no," "someone's still in my bed!"

And the bitch is wearing my nightgown!

Papa said, "I'll go get my big knife"

Mama said, "I'll get the big pot boiling"

Teenager said, "I'll get more vegetables to go with the meat!"

September 16, 2006 (11:00pm)