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ANIMAL CRACKERS

Poetry By: moonphish
Humor


world gone mad


Submitted:Dec 25, 2011    Reads: 10    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


i've often vowed, sometimes aloud, i'm not the kind of guy

who'd ever hurt an animal, not even harm a fly
so most upset, was i, when met, the windshield of my ford
a little insect, who was wrecked as he was speeding towards
i heard the splat and thought that's that, but that was not the case
i saw the sad expression on his little insect face
to my dismay i heard him say "you'll rue what you just did"
drew one last breath and met his death, and out of view he slid
twas quite disturbed, pulled to the curb, not sure i understood
heard a tinny little whinny coming underneath my hood
i disembarked from where i'd parked, then i began to shout
the hood latch banged and horses sprang and then stampeded out
not far to walk, about a block, i headed for my home
i walked the rest in such distress, a-scratching at my dome
it started raining cats and dogs, a drizzle then quite hard
first a skinny little tabby, then a flabby saint bernard
once home, i hit my bar, when one is scarred, one needs a lift
i made myself a grasshopper, i think you get the drift
i watched my drink just hop away, in walked my wife's new mules
my heart clenched as a monkey wrench leaped from my box of tools
i needed some nutrition, as the fridge i popped, surprise !
out jumped some barking wiener dogs, before my startled eyes
i made a nice cheese sandwich, by computer was last seen
i turned my back,my lunch attacked by mouse who looked quite mean
picked up the latest playboy, only rabbit photos there
but the thing that happened next was so complex it left me scared
on the table, quite unstable was a trembling little box
of crackers shaped like animals, more violently it rocked
at last it just burst open and they zoomed into the room
all were biting one another till at last they met their doom
my cell phone started ringing, twas the doctor from downtown
he said he had some some real bad news and urged me to sit down
"your wife had come to see us though she wasn't really ill
she'd only shown up to complain about a recent bill"
the argument got ugly and though i can't fathom how
i must inform you sir, you're now the father of a cow




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