I WENT ON "SPRINGER" CAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND'S A MAN

i was a-wondering why her face was so rough
kissing her was so creepy...when she rubbed against me
i found it baffling...not to mention absurd
now my trust has been broken...cause i found she's a he
and now i find my feelings changed...it blows...this is true
and i believe some other persons should know...its freaky
i went on "springer" cause my girlfriend's a man

a thousand people in the studio heard
all about the con artist...who hornswaggled me
a thousand smiles, as i'm describing the way
how i found her alluring...what a joke i must be
so if you think that gal of yours is male...just like you
well, then you know exactly what to do...tell jerry
i went on "springer" cause my girlfriend's a man

i just don't understand
lies told by people to the people
who were really enjoying...the sex
and now i'll be a frightened person
but enlightened by this woman
who has been male...since her birth
been male...since her birth

i was a-wondering if the crowd would feel mirth
seeing two crazy people...as they fight on TV
my life's unraveling...i put into words
how i thought she was joking...when she finally told me
and now its time to make a change...i want someone new
i really want some other person to hold...i'm lonely
i went on "springer" cause my girlfriend's a man

i just don't understand
lies told by people to the people
who were really enjoying...the sex
and now i'll be a frightened person
but enlightened by this woman
who has been male...since her birth
been male...since her birth

tragic is the man who must pretend he's a girl
fooling so many people...especially me
i went on "springer" cause my girlfriend's a man
you'll be on "springer" if your girlfriend's a man
i went on "springer" cause my girlfriend's a man