Is that you Santa, under the tree?
Are you leaving some gifts for me?
I've been good all through the year
Don't you believe me? What did you hear?
Was it the time I stole from my friend?
He said he had no more money to lend
But he had a wallet packed full of dough
So I just took a wee bit, he'd never know!
Or was it when I kicked next doors cat?
How did you ever find out about that?
That moggie squeals like a pig through the night
So giving it a whack was within my rights.
Don't tell me it's cos I was bad to my mum
Surely, Santa, you can't be that dumb!
She nagged me about my lack of respect
So I told her to shove it, what did she expect?
So you see ,Mr Claus, I ain't been that bad
A few lesser moments are all that I've had
So Leave loads of gifts for me to enjoy
Or There'll be pain for you, and not christmas joy!