Santa, is that you?

Is that you Santa, under the tree?

Are you leaving some gifts for me?

I’ve been good all through the year

Don’t you believe me? What did you hear?

Was it the time I stole from my friend?

He said he had no more money to lend

But he had a wallet packed full of dough

So I just took a wee bit, he’d never know!

Or was it when I kicked next doors cat?

How did you ever find out about that?

That moggie squeals like a pig through the night

So giving it a whack was within my rights.

Don’t tell me it’s cos I was bad to my mum

Surely, Santa, you can’t be that dumb!

She nagged me about my lack of respect

So I told her to shove it, what did she expect?

So you see ,Mr Claus, I ain’t been that bad

A few lesser moments are all that I’ve had

So Leave loads of gifts for me to enjoy

                                     Or There’ll be pain for you, and not christmas joy!