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Poetry By: red2skelf

Just a bit of a farce

Submitted:Feb 16, 2013    Reads: 10    Comments: 1    Likes: 1   

Young Hector was a handsome lad. He wore a tartan bonnet

He loved a lass from Auchterblane and wrote for her a sonnet

'Be mine, sweet lass, and 'bide with me, forever and a day'

He sang it in her garden bower, amidst the flowers of May

She heard it in her boudoir and flushed a pretty shade,

As she opened up her window to hear the song he made

He sang in macho baritone, aflame with love and pride

And heard the tinkling ivories from somewhere deep inside

He hadn't known she had a dog, a snarling hairy beast

It clamped its jaws upon his kilt as if to have a feast

He still could hear his bonnie lassie playing her piano

He tried to hold his kilt in place, while singing pure soprano

He legged it to the garden gate; it seemed a league too far

His song became a girlish scream as he tried to leap the bar

The beast was having none of it; he heard a rip like thunder,

(Quite a crowd had gathered now) as his kilt was torn asunder

He did a kind of Highland fling; towards the street he dashed

The dog fell off; the kilt went too, as through the gate he flashed

By now poor Hector's ardour had begun to fade and wilt

But he'd answered that age-old question, 'What's under a Scotsman's kilt?'


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