When I tell you that I'm not cheating, I'm not lying.
Don't kick me in the nuts again or I'll start crying.
Just because I opened a door for a lady, you started a fight.
It hurt when you shoved a small cactus up my ass and that wasn't right.
When a lady proctologist removed it, it made me blush.
You shoved my head in the toilet and gave it a flush.
I've been faithful and crow is what you should be eating.
I'm too scared of you to start cheating.