When you want me to feed you, you beg.
Then you have the nerve to hump my leg.
I bought you to guard my house.
But you are afraid of a mouse.
Burglars took all of my valuable possesions.
And it's hard to replace them in this recession.
You're the only Doberman who got beat up by a cat.
You lay around all day and you're getting fat.
Feeding your lazy ass is expensive, that is true.
Start protecting my house or I will sell you.