Good Lord Doc, Are They Real Or Not

I found a suite case packed full of nuts,

buried on a beach, under the hot sand.

Thought it was strange, then it just hit me,

I had a real nut case right in my hands.

I had to find the right doctor for this,

got out the phone book and called around.

The receptionist there said she could get me in,

so I grabbed my nuts and headed off to town.

Seems I had to wait forever for my turn,

while signing my life away and such.

Thought it was strange, then he shook his head

and looked at me as if I had gone nuts.

Good Lord Doc, are they real or not,

it ain't everyday I come across some.

Oh it's a crock, it's what's you've got,

he pressed a button with his thumb.

He had me locked away then took my nuts,

I screamed I found them, I didn't steal.

Thought it was strange when they gave me pills

and had the nerve to ask me how I feel.

Do things like this happen all of the time,

while treasure hunting for a buck or two.

The nurse told me that she didn't really know,

so I said I hope it don't happen to you.

Seems I had to wait forever to get free,

while signing my life away and such.

Thought it was strange, then I shook my head

and looked at him and said, I want my nuts.

Good Lord Doc, are they real or not,

it ain't everyday I come across some.

Oh it's a crock, it's what's you've got,

he pressed a button with his thumb.