We Don't Function Like We Use To

When I retire gonna drive my car

take my lady to a partying bar

and go to Petticoat Junction

cause we don't function like we use to.

Oh we can still toot our whistle and that ain't all

we can still ring the bell on the Cannon Ball

that's going to Petticoat Junction

cause we don't function like we use to.

No, we don't function like we use to baby

all this work has gotten us down here lately

so when we retire we're gonna take the best

little bitty vacation at the Shady Rest.

You act like Kate and I feel like Joe

hope it's not to late and we can't go

down to Petticoat Junction

cause we can't function like we use to.

Oh we can still toot our whistle and that ain't all

we can still ring the bell on the Cannon Ball

that's going to Petticoat Junction

cause we don't function like we use to.

No, we don't function like we use to baby

all this work has gotten us down here lately

so when we retire we're gonna take the best

little bitty vacation at the Shady Rest.

Yeah when I retire gonna drive my car

take my lady to a partying bar

and go to Petticoat Junction

cause we don't function like we use to.