Office Drama in Limericks
"Penny and Anne Get Caught"
A lonely assistant was working
When a naughty young lass came a lurking.
They had loads of fun
And when they were done
The girls rushed to work they'd been shirking.
Penny was the copy girl's name
She filled all the men full of shame
When they knew with a twist
And just a flick of her wrist
She could be in the Sex Hall of Fame.
A secretary can never be rude
So with patience Anne stood being wooed.
Well the guys tried so hard
But 'twas Pen held the card
She knew how to get Anne in the mood.
A quick sultry look they did share
It changed to a meaningful stare
Anne knew from the glance
Penny hated her pants
And would rather her legs have been bare.
Annie said, "Don't call me Annie!"
To the jerk who'd just checked out her fanny
He thought he was cool
But was truly a fool
The bad timing he had was uncanny.
The dolt said, "Don't get in a tizzy!"
When Anne growled she was already busy
When he saw what she meant
How her time had been spent
He sat down so he wouldn't get dizzy.
That's right, he caught them in the act
They paused to see how he'd react
Would he join with a grin?
Would he shout, "It's a sin!"?
Or just walk away briskly with tact?
With held breath they waited to see
Which one he would choose of the three
At first he looked mean
Then his eyes became keen
And his laughter resounded with glee.
Don predictably asked, "Room for more?"
As he hurriedly locked the hall door
The girls sighed with relief
And then thought, "Oh good grief!"
As they realized what he had in store.
Anne said, "Don, let me explain"
"For you to jump in is insane!"
"We're girls who like girls"
"And girls who like
"Don't like guys. Have I made myself plain?"
"Oh, come on, you can't really mean that!"
"Chicks only say that 'cause they're fat."
"But you two are hot" (he said)
Whipping it out on the spot
And purring like a Cheshire cat.
"Look Donald, I'll try not to mock"
"But you might as well put it back in your sock"
"What I'm trying to say"
"In the most graceful way,"
"Is 'Fuck off dude, we don't need a cock!'"
When Penny rebuked him Don caved
He felt shame about how he'd behaved
He felt stupid and sad
But the girls were just glad
At the discomfort they thought they'd been saved.
"Hang on now", Don thought with a sneer
"I do have the upper hand
"I'm in the right"
"If they put up a fight"
"I'll tell the whole office they're queer."
"Hey sorry I'm bursting your bubble"
"But I could get you two in real trouble"
"And if you don't get me off"
He said with a scoff
"I'll make sure your punishment's double"
The girls, who'd resumed making love
Broke apart as Don gave them a shove
"If of your crap I get tired"
"I'll make sure you're both fired"
He threatened, pulling out a cock glove.
Penny said, "Don, the fault is all mine"
"I promise I'll now toe the line"
Penny whispered to Anne
"I just might have a plan"
"Just follow my lead, we'll be fine."
"I just got a text", Penny said
"You two start whilst I get it read"
But crafty old Pen
Turned on her movie cam then
And focused it right on Don's head.
Penny walked over to Anne
And gave a sly wink to the man
"Now how about this"
"You jack off while we kiss"
And lickety-split Don began.
Don could hardly believe his good luck
Now he had the girls, they were stuck
A lifetime of blackmail
Oh, he'd get some tail
He couldn't wait 'til they would fuck.
Don leaned over the conference room table
Stroking fast as he was able
"I think that's enough"
Penny said with a huff
"Dear Donald, you'd better get stable."
"What the hell, we just got started!"
"Did I say that you two could
Don roared in rage
"You will lose your wage!"
Whilst to her cell phone Penny darted.
Anne giggled right out of the blue
Penny caught the bug and chuckled too
"Guess what douche, you're screwed!"
Said Pen in a good mood
"You're on candid camera, so shoo!"
Don realized the truth, and he paled
When he knew what their options entailed
To the boss they could go
A mass email could grow
The dolt begged, "Don't leave me blackmailed!"
"Oh don't worry", Anne said with a smirk
"Just don't talk about our little quirk"
"And we'll leave you be"
"Just as soon as you see"
"That you don't mess with lezzies, you jerk!"
"I won't talk", Don mumbled with shame
He'd been beaten at his own wicked game
He knew that they'd won
His pride was near none
And he'd never look at them the same.
"We really should be more discreet"
Anne said, as they watched Don retreat
"We will, but now"
"To celebrate that vow"
"Let me eat you out as a treat."
An illicit work romance is fun
But Penny and Anne jumped the gun
The world's just not ready
For two gals to go steady
And will gay marriage ever be won?
Could I ever here find a mate?
There are some whose looks I don't hate
But that's just a dream
With an all-Catholic team
Who're all middle-aged, married, and straight!