Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

A Hog Named Sue

Poetry By: Wilbur
Humor



zeke and em and a hog named sue - what to do what to do put some mustard in my shoe! hope you have fun ... i did


Submitted:May 15, 2012    Reads: 25    Comments: 6    Likes: 5   


A Hog Named Sue

one day zeke came home
followed by an old stray dog
on that same day em
met an ill-tempered hog
when zeke saw the hog
he said em please do tell!
we are not pig farmers
and don't live in a dell
em said you like bacon
just slaughter the pig
zeke said em that hog's wild
and it's horrifically big

the hog chose that moment
to lunge and to prance
the dog lunged right back
which started a dance
em grabbed for the hog
zeke grabbed at his stray
both grabs went amiss
dog and hog got away
so zeke grabbed at em
em hung onto him too
while the hog and the dog
did in a mad buckaroo

that's when old bob berlin
from down the road
drove in with his rig
and a sharp ended goad
making swipes at the hog
calling, here pig - soo-ee
but the hog stood her ground
squealing back ee-ee-eeee
zeke held onto em
who held onto the dog
who was desperate to run
and take down the hog

but the hog was done
her great escape over
she lay down in the grass
started chewing the clover
old bob berlin looked
at his hog lying there
shook his head
mopped at his hair
hot and red faced he said
this is always the way
she gets out of her sty
walks off for the day

wife says go hunt her
go track her down
but when i do
she's like a clown
and through with walking
no more walking, thank you
i can yell and can threaten
there's just naught i can do
but use my old rope
to tie her to my rig --
i tell you it's not fun
looking out for this pig

as he swiped at his face
he said, do you like pork?
fine tender fresh meat?
you can cut with a fork?
there's bacon of course
pork chops? a fine roast?
i'll butcher her free
fried livers on toast?
zeke and em shake their heads
can't shake them enough
bob pleads she's not old
her meat won't be tough

she dines on black walnuts
drinks dark beer from kegs
you'll never regret it
she's a feast on four legs
but zeke says fine offer
but far too much meat
we're just we two
more than we can eat
so bob shakes his head
gets on with his work
ties the pig to his rig
then sets off with a jerk

but before he can leave
zeke asks the hog's name
bob says i call them all sue
cuz they're all the same
and then he goes off
down the road raising dust
the pig running after -
tied with rope that's a must -
zeke and em stand looking
staring down at the stray
both now are wondering
should they ask it to stay

the dog looks right back
then spins in a twirl
jumps high in the air
em says he's not a girl
and if he's got no home
then he lived on the street
zeke says well he's dirty
but still kind of sweet
be company too em
be a good watch dog
given half of a chance
he'd've run off that hog

if you give him a bath zeke
he can sleep on the bed
you give him his bath em
i'll make a dog's bed instead
well what shall we call him zeke?
since you're so smart
zeke looks first at her
then at the glass heart
zeke says use the hog's name
that's what we'll do
em said no he's a boy dog
we can't name him sue

but zeke can't stop laughing
at the johnny cash riff
and she's some put-off
'til she catches his drift
boy dog named for girl hog
girl hog named sue
johnny cash reigns forever
shel silverstein too
the song's title fits
seems too good to resist
they decide that they can't
sealed the deal as they kissed

it's a perfect fit - sue
in every which way
pulling all parts together
of this wild zany day
zeke's homeless dog
em's hog runaway
hog now back home
stray dog here to stay
em's got her husband
zeke's got his wife
zeke em and sue
can share in a good life

hog never comes back
swilling slop in her sty
bob berlin goes past
and always waves 'hi'
sue chases his tail
the odd frog and rabbit
zeke hums in his sleep
an endearing habit
em washes and bakes
and basks in her joy
with zeke as her husband
and sue as her boy

double heart gleams
shines from above
sweetens all of their dreams
in reflected love





5

| Email this story Email this Poetry | Add to reading list



Reviews

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Self Publishing | Advertise

© 2013 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.