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I need some peace and quiet

Script By: Asfi
Humor



If you fell ill and were to spend the day at home with your loud wife and annoying kid....what would you do?


Submitted:Jun 16, 2012    Reads: 315    Comments: 10    Likes: 5   


DOCTOR: There's nothing to worry about, madam. Your husband has worked too hard. He's just stressed.

WIFE: Doctor, nowadays he's working just TOO hard! He goes to work early in the morning and comes back late in the evening.

DOCTOR: Oh dear! But don't worry madam. He has promised me that he'll rest daily.

WIFE: Really? Well that's a relief.

DOCTOR: Well then....I must be on my way.

WIFE: Of course. But what should he eat? And does he need medicine?

DOCTOR: No no. No medicine. And he can eat all healthy foods.

WIFE: Ok. (Screams) Amigo! Oh Amigo! Come here and take the doctor's bag to his car.

(enters Amigo)

AMIGO: Yes, ma'am! As you wish MA'AM!!!!!

DOCTOR: Goodbye Madam. And please make sure that he is able to sleep peacefully.

WIFE: Goodbye. Well then....I hope YOU heard that, hmmm?

HUSBAND: Hmmmm

WIFE: Does your back ache?

HUSBAND: Hmmmm

(knock on door)

WIFE: Oh who's at the door? Amigo! Amigo. Check who's at the door.

(enters Amigo)

AMIGO: Maam, its the water carrier.

WIFE: Him? Oh tell him to go away! That foolish man must ALWAYS disturb us! Tell him to come early tomorrow.

HUSBAND: Ugh! Hey don't scream so much

WIFE: Oh! Oh I remember. Your back aches. Should I tell Amigo to massage it?

HUSBAND: (angrily) No!

(enters Amigo again)

AMIGO: Yes ma'am?

WIFE: Foolish man! Where were you?

AMIGO: Ma'am I was working in the basement

WIFE: THEN GO! GO DO YOUR WORK! (Amigo leaves) Well I'm going out of the room now. Call me if you need me

HUSBAND: Please close the door.

WIFE: Oh and what would you like to eat?

HUSBAND: Make whatever you want

WIFE: I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO EAT IT!!! YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!!

HUSBAND: Porridge

WIFE: How about some soup? Would you like some hot, tasty and healthy chicken soup?

HUSBAND: Mmmmm. Sure!

WIFE: But its too difficult to make. So I'll just make the porridge.

(put put put put. vroooooooooom)

HUSBAND: Now whats that sound?

WIFE: Oh thats your lovely little princess! She got a car from a festival and now she wont stop playing with it! Foolish child! I'll have to go handle her myself!

(wife leaves)

(Child crying)

WIFE: Quiet! Quiet! Your father is lying ill in the bed and you dont even care?!?! BE SILENT!

(wife takes the child into her room)

HUSBAND: Ah! Now I can rest!

(Amigo enters and starts sweeping the floor)

HUSBAND:Hey what's this? (cough) Oh my god! What are you doing?

AMIGO: Sweeping the floor. If I wont sweep it then madam will be very angry.

HUSBAND: MADAM THIS! MADAM THAT! MADAM THIS! MADAM THAT! I AM YOUR MASTER! NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM! NOW!

(Amigo left)

(RIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIING)

HUSBAND: Oh wife! Please pick up the phone.

(RIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING)

HUSBAND: Oh God! Hello? Yes, I'm Mr. Smith. Mrs. Smith is not in the room. No, there's no one who can bring her in the room. I am ill. I can't go. Please call later. Ok ok. Now please call later. I SAID CALL LATER!

(slams phone)

HUSBAND: Foolish people

(enters wife)

WIFE: You called?

HUSBAND: Yeah it was your friend's call

WIFE: Who?

HUSBAND: I dunno

WIFE:Didn'tyou ask her name?

HUSBAND: Ooops. I forgot.

WIFE: Ooooook.

(song starts playing)

WIFE: Oh now the neighbours are making noise. I'll write a letter to them to tell them to stop.

HUSBAND: Ok

(enters child)

CHILD: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Mama mama! I fell down and now my knee is bleeding.

WIFE: Oh be quiet! I'll see your injury later. It's ok!

(beggar peeps through window)

BEGGAR: Any kind person around here who may spare some change?

WIFE: Amigo! Get rid of this begger please. AMIGO!!!!

CHILD; MAMA!

WIFE: Hush!

(Music gets louder)

WIFE: AMIGO!

HUSBAND: Wife? Please bring me my coat and hat.

WIFE: Coat and hat? But why?

HUSBAND: I'm going to the office. I REALLY need some rest!





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