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Mad Scientist and the Microwaves

Script By: Bodici22
Humor



This is a screenplay that I wrote for my AP Physics class.

The formatting got a little messed up, but hopefully it'll be understandable.


Submitted:Jun 9, 2009    Reads: 74    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   


THE SCIENTIST AND THE MICROWAVES

ESTABLISHING SHOT - HOUSE
INT. STAIRWELL

Sarah walks down the stairs into the basement. A sign on the
door says "Lab. No Admittance. Important gravity experiments."
Sarah opens the door without knocking, and walks in.


INT. BASEMENT LAB

The MAD SCIENTIST is sitting at the table with a MIND CONTROL
HELMET on his head. Sarah walks up to him. The table has a
sheet tablecloth over it, concealing something very lumpy.

SCIENTIST
What are you doing here?

SARAH
There's nothing good on TV and
you're more amusing than watching
reruns of Survivor.

SCIENTIST
That's not why. Behold, my newest
invention, the mind control helmet!
You came here because I made you!

He takes off the helmet and holds it up triumphantly.

SARAH
That's a colander with some knobs
on it. You do know that, right?

SCIENTIST
No it isn't!

He throws the helmet behind him.

SCIENTIST
Anyway, that's not as cool as this!

He pulls the tablecloth off of the table. An electrocution
victim, POLLY, is lying on the table.

SCIENTIST (CONT'D)
I can raise the dead!!!

Sarah checks for a pulse.

SARAH
She's alive, Perry.

Scientist slaps her hand away.

SCIENTIST
No she's not. And my name isn't
Perry, it's Dr. McEvil!

SARAH
McChicken?

SCIENTIST
No, McEvil, I got it changed. See?

He pulls out a piece of paper to shows her.

SARAH
McNugget?

MCEVIL
McEvil.

SARAH
Filet-o-fish?

MCEVIL
Wait, what?

SARAH
I don't know, I ran out of things
that started with Mc.

POLLY
McFlurry?

SARAH
Thank you. McFlurr--

Both of them stop to stare at Polly.

MCEVIL
Hahaha! It worked!

SARAH
She wasn't dead!

McEvil shrugs.

MCEVIL
Never mind that. I have something
else to show you! This is my evil
box of d00m!

POLLY
Doom?

MCEVIL
No, d00m. It's spelled with zeros,
not o's. Anyway, come and see it!


INT. LAB - LATER

McEvil is staring at a MICROWAVE OVEN with a piece of paper
saying "Evil Box of d00m" on it" on the table. Sarah is
sitting at the table, leaning back, and looking bored. Polly
is holding a table knife and is staring at the power outlet
next to the table.

MCEVIL
Behold, the box of d00m with zeros
and not o's! This, my ingenious
invention, uses waves and circuits,
which are important physics things!

McEvil smiles evily at the camera. Sarah yawns. Polly begins
slowly moving the knife towards the power outlet.

SARAH
So what's it do?

MCEVIL
We'll get to that later. Do you
want to know how it works?

SARAH
(answering a rhetorical)
Not really.

MCEVIL CONT'D
Great! I'll show you!

Sarah looks at Polly, who is about to stick the knife in the
power socket, and grabs the knife from her.


INT. LAB - STILL LATER

McEvil is holding a clear box full of bouncy bouncy balls,
with two strings on either side. Sarah and Polly are each
holding a string.

MCEVIL
This is your food.

SARAH
No, it's not. It's a clear box full
of bouncy bouncy balls.

MCEVIL
In physics-land, this is what your
food looks like. The bouncy bouncy
balls are the water, fat, and sugar
in your food. Now, when there's
waves...

He looks at Polly and Sarah, who begin shaking the strings,
Polly very excitedly and Sarah a little halfheartedly.

MCEVIL CONT'D
...the water, fat, and sugar...

SARAH
Super balls...

MCEVIL
Shut up, they start to move.

He begins shaking the box.

MCEVIL
And when they move, they generate
heat, cooking the food.

Sarah stops making waves. Polly keeps jumping up and down
excitedly.

SARAH
So why are these waves only
absorbed by the super bouncy balls?

MCEVIL
You mean the water, fat, and sugar?

SARAH
Whatever.

MCEVIL
That's a good, question. Let me
show you.

He and Sarah walk out of the room. Polly stays and continues
hopping up and down.


INT. LAB - SECONDS LATER.

Sarah and McEvil walk into the lab from a different door.
Polly is still hopping up and down.

SARAH
Wait. We left through that
door...and came in here? What's /
going on

MCEVIL
(Interrupts at /)
Don't worry about that. Anyway, you
asked me about waves.

He takes the super-ball demonstration from Polly and hides it
under the table.

POLLY
Aaww.

McEvil takes a hand-drawn (with crayon) poster with a spectrum
on it. Some of the waves clearly don't exist, like "Tsunami
waves," or "Wavey waves," out from under the table.
"Microwaves of DOOM!" is in the center of the spectrum,
circled several times.
Sarah gives the poster an "Are you an idiot?" look. She sits
down at the table.

MCEVIL
This is the Wave Spectrum. There's
lots of waves / like...

POLLY
(Interrupts at /)
WAVEY WAVES! I love wavey waves.
They're so wavey!

MCEVIL
That is true. But the kinds of
waves we use is Microwaves, of
doom.

SARAH
So what's so special about
microwaves?

MCEVIL
Do you mean Microwaves, of doom?
Well, these microwaves / are
special...

POLLY
(interrupts at /)
Of Doom!

MCEVIL
Yes. They're special because they
are only absorbed by water, fat,
and sugar. So you heat your food
without heating the air! Metal
reflects microwaves, which is why
it sparks when you put it in the
evil box of d00m, spelled with
zeros and not o's!

POLLY
Sparks? SPARKS? Do it! Do it! Do
it! Turn it on! Turn it on! Turn it
on!!

McEvil hands her a fork/kinfe/some form of tablewear, and she
jumps happily up and down before trying to put it in the
electrical socket.
Sarah jumps up and grabs it from her. Polly fights,
ineffectively, to get it back.

SARAH
(still 'fighting' Polly)
So, how do you generate these
microwaves?

MCEVIL
(smiling evily)
With circuits. Come, I'll show you!
McEvil and Sarah leave through the door, Polly chasing the
knife in Sarah's hand.


EXT. BACK YARD - AFTERNOONISH

Sarah and McEvil are standing outside, with a GIANT CIRCUIT
SCHEMATIC drawn on the ground. Polly is running around in
circles.

SARAH
So what are we doing out here?

MCEVIL
This is a circuit.

SARAH
No, it's not.

MCEVIL
Yes, it is.

SARAH
No, it isn't.

POLLY
McChicken!!

They both stop to glare at her.

MCEVIL
Anyway, electrons flow through the
circuit!

POLLY
I want to be an electron!

MCEVIL
Okay, you can be an electron.

Polly begins running around the circuit.

MCEVIL
So electrons flow through the
circuit from the voltage source.

POLLY
Like an electrical socket!

SARAH
(pauses)
...Right. So what's that.
Sarah points to the resistor in the circuit.

MCEVIL
That's a resistor. Resistors can be
anything, like, for example, the
evil box of d00m!

When Polly passes the resistor, she begins hopping on one foot
to show that she has passed the resistor.

MCEVIL
Power outlets have a lot of voltage
and current, so it's not safe to do
things like putting pennies in
them.

POLLY
That's how I died!

There's another awkward pause.

SARAH
You know you were never actually
dead, right?


INT. LAB - LATER

Sarah, McEvil, and Polly are all sitting at the table. The
evil box of d00m is sitting on the table.

SARAH
Well, I have to admit it, Perry...

MCEVIL
McEvil.

SARAH
Whatever, anyway, this isn't all
that bad of an invention. There's
just one problem with it.

MCEVIL
What's that.

Sarah pulls the paper off of the microwave.

SARAH
It's a microwave oven.

MCEVIL
What, no it isn't...

He looks at the microwave, opens the door, and looks inside.

MCEVIL
Hey! They stole my idea!

Polly holds up a bag of popcorn.

POLLY
Popcorn?

FADE OUT.





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