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rose at the side of the road

Script By: brucek
Humor



kecurb is stuck in brucek's skit and is trying to find a way out.


Submitted:Aug 3, 2011    Reads: 67    Comments: 12    Likes: 7   


***********ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION!!!***********

To have even the slightest chance of understanding what is about to happen in this skit, the reader will first have to read a skit called "a curve in the road ahead" written by Brucek and THEN read a skit called "a curve in the script ahead" written by Zin Dar. Without reading these first I fear all you will do is scratch your head and say "WHAT!?" However, I feel it's only fair that I tell you at least something about what has been going on so far.

After losing control of the characters in his skit, Brucek, the author, entered the skit to apologize, only to find himself stuck there. Kecurb, out of the goodness of his heart, went into the skit to rescue Brucek, but found himself cleverly abandoned with two other characters, "Author" and "Real Author". Unfortunately, Kecurb wasn't properly dressed for this adventure. He had assumed he was just going to jump in and pop out right away. He'd actually been getting ready for bed and the only thing he was wearing at the time was a pair of baggy shorts, and oversized T-shirt with a picture of Bugs Bunny on it, and a pair of worn out fuzzy slippers.

KECURB: What do you mean I'm on my own?

REAL AUTHOR: Sorry, I can't help you.

KECURB: Come on guys!

REAL AUTHOR: Sorry. (pop!)

AUTHOR: Tough luck, huh? (pop!)

KECURB: What the hell?! BRUCE! All right, you've had your fun, get me out of here..........Bruce?..........Damn it, what if I need to go to.........Oh look, an out house. What a surprise. And since I'm in a skit I suppose you can talk and have a name and everything?

JOHN: The name's John sir, may I be of service?

KECURB: Very funny Bruce.

JOHN: I'm sorry?

KECURB: Yes John, I think I will be using your services. (enters the out house).............Toilet paper please...............Thank you Bruce...........I suppose you can talk too?

ROLL: Yeah, hurry it up will ya, you're stinkin' up the place.

JOHN: Oh, do be more polite. He is our guest.

ROLL: Whatever............Jesus!...............I can't breath!.............

KECURB: (exits the out house and looks up at the sky) You're a riot, Bruce. Can you get me out of here now?................Damn it Bruce, I have to go to work in the morning!............

JOHN: Will there be anything else I can help you with sir?

KECURB: No John, you performed wonderfully.

JOHN: Oh, thank you sir, thank you. (pop!)

ROLL: Yeah, whatever. (pop!)

KECURB: BRUCE!...........COME ON DUDE!..........Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I meant to say Brucek, oh wonderful writer of poetry and humor. Oh great one, will you PLEASE rescue me?.............You know, I came over here to help you out...............You can be a real ass hole sometimes, you know that? All right. I'll figure my own way out of here. I'll follow the road. It's bound to go somewhere. Those hills look nice, I'll just walk over there.

Kecurb shuffles along the side of the road in his beat up slippers, trying to relax and not let the whole situation upset him. Time passes, the road slowly slips by, and all that he sees is more road, road with strips of dirty grey gravel on each edge. With nothing better to do Kecurb scans the gravel looking for any interesting rocks or fossils. Then, unexpectedly, he finds a beautiful pink rock.

KECURB: Well aren't you pretty!............You're not going to start talking are you?

ROCK: Listen honey, now that I finally have someone to talk to do you think I'm not going to say anything?..............Oh my sugar, you're kind of cute. In fact, I'd say you're fine. Mmmmmmm mmmmmmm..............So..........What's your name darlin'? Mine's Rose Quartz, but you can call me Rose.

KECURB: .............uh...............Kecurb?

ROSE: All right! Kecurb? So honey, do you have a girlfriend?

KECURB: BRUCE! Not funny man. Not funny. (Kecurb tosses Rose in his pocket and tries to think of what to do next)

ROSE: .............Oh.............my...........God!..............Oh my God!...............Kecurb, you're not wearing any........

KECURB: (sigh) I know, I know, tell me about it. I was getting ready for ..........

ROSE: Oh my............There's a whole lot of shakin' going on down here. My oh my, I haven't had this much fun since.......

KECURB: (whips her out of his pocket) That's enough! No, no, no. I'll just hold you in my hand from now on.

ROSE: Oh darling, I think we're way past the hand holding stage, don't you?

KECURB: You think this is funny Bruce, but it's not man, it's sick. Do you hear me?

ROSE: (annoyed) Who are you talking to? I'm right here. In your hand, walking down the road with you, it's a beautiful day........

KECURB: Look Rose, what can you tell me about what's around here? What's over those hills over there?

ROSE: You're not very romantic, are you? Oh sugar, why are you so cute? OK! Let's see............the gravel was always talking about a rubber tree plantation. They said it was right over the other side of that hill.

KECURB: A rubber tree plantation? Here?

ROSE: Uh huh. Do you want to go over there?

KECURB: Sure, why not.

ROSE: All right!

Kecurb quickly reaches the hill that Rose pointed out and on the other side starts walking towards the trees.

KECURB: What the hell?! Bruce, there is something seriously wrong with you. Condom trees?! What, am I in some kind of kinky "Alice in Wonderland"? Am I going to see a Chesshire Cat now?

In a nearby tree a wide toothy grin appears.

THE END THUS FAR





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