The Cowboy and the Lady by: Douglas W. Wilson
This is a little one act play where a cowboy comes calling on a lady. The lady is one of the most beautiful very attractive young ladies in the county. The cowboy, a very handsome young man would like to take the lady to the dance and the lady really wants to go with him. However the lady's mother has set some very stringent rules and guidelines for her daughter.
To put this all into perspective; the young lady, Annabel, comes from a very well to-do family. But after her father's death, her mother has kept up a front of wealth, by selling assets. The mother is counting on getting her seventeen year old daughter married to someone very wealthy. The mother keeps a very tight rein on her daughter but right now the mother is laying down upstairs with a bad headache, not aware at all, that her daughter has a caller.
The young mans dad gave him the name Chad. The father considered the baby a reject. Chad is proving to be no reject however, ever since his mother chased his father away with the shotgun Chad has been the man of the house. At eleven years old Chad took over, first by repairing the broken down equipment of the rundown farm, and then going on to repair equipment for the neighbors. By thirteen Chad had received many animals and a continuing supply of garden produce as payment for his many neighbor farm and ranch repairs. By Chad's hard work Chad's mother had continued to successfully raise Chad's three younger brothers and two sisters. Chad's father was never seen again. Thanks to Chad, Chad's family now lives on a very successful ranch.
Now let's listen in and see how the cowboy handles the tough problems that he is faced with. Imagine if you will the lady is sitting on the front porch swing when the cowboy comes a calling.
Howdy Mam I wuz wondering if'en it'd be fitten if I called on you for courten
Speaking with feeling Angrily ------MY MOTHER SAYS I should not go a courting with no cowboy.
Every time the lady says: My Mother Says, the cowboy will turn to the audience, mouth the words My Mother Says. At the same time he will scrunch up his face in an act of distaste for her words.
Well Mam, I jest think yer jest the prettiest durn filly that I ever did know, and I'd be mighty danged pleezed to take you to the dance come next Friday.
My mother says that any man that courts me has to be gentleman.
Well Mam, all the people over at Harrisburg way say I'm the most gentlest man they ever did know. Even old Doc Witherspoon gets me to help all the time when he tends to the animals cuz he says I am really gentle with the youngens.
My mother says that the man I court has to be educated, smart, and own his own property.
Well Mam I am jest the man fer you, I am educated alrighty, most everybody up our way only gets to grade four, I graduated from grade six. I'm pretty smart too, up our way people say of me that I can fix durn near anything. Then jest last month I took a course at the college on maintaining farm machinery, and you know what, I got the highest marks in the whole class fer packing wheel bearings. And yes I own property.
My mother says that if a man owns property it's got to be paid for.
Mam you shore know how to throw a fine horseshoe cuz thaten wuz a real ringer thet time. Cuz I not only own my property but it's paid for too. As a matter of fact I think I got one real fine deal on thet property I traded two of my best danged horses and an old saddle fer it. Everybody over home sezs I really know how to swing a good deal.
Dance you say on Friday night.
Yess Mam they say its gonna to be the swingest thing, and I'd shore be mighty honored if'en I could have a beautiful lady like you on my arm.
My mother says if a man comes a courting the least he should do is present a lady with a gift.
Well Mam I thought long and hard what I could bring for a gift, its not the right season for plucken flowers, an I shore didn't have much else to give yuh so I stopped by the potters field and found thesens. I shore am a hopein you won't be too upset cuz there kinda used.
The cowboy presents the flowers to the lady, she bows her head and they embrace.
Props: One chair, one beat up brown bag, one really decrepit bouquet of flowers. The flowers are left in the bag until the cowboys last line.