~A Horrible Play ~(The curtain opens to three friends sitting
around a table on a porch, drinking hot chocolate and telling a
story as they make it up.) ~Aspen: (in a mystical voice) Once upon
a time... ~JC: We were at war... ~Aspen: And a beautiful flower
girl was at a fairy's wedding. ~Rhia: Then a bomb fell on the
wedding and everyone died. ~JC: Them two survived. ~Aspen: Who
survived? I hope it's the bride and groom. (clasps her hands
together hopefully) ~JC: And they do. ~Aspen: How cute! ~Rhia: But
the groom is realy gay! (starts laughing) ~Aspen: (fake outraged)
Not true! Right JC? ~JC: Right. ~Rhia Nonono! 'Cause then he went
to kiss his boyfriend. ~JC: That was a goodbye kiss to his parents.
~Rhia: (looks at JC questioningly) Yes totally. The groom's dad is
nineteen and makin' out with him. ~Aspen: What the heck? Anyways,
the bride is Alli and the groom is Alex Pettyfer. ~JC: Not! ~Rhia:
(rolls her eyes) I still don't believe you because Alex Pettyfer is
totally gay! ~JC: I second that. ~Aspen: Whatever. Rhia likes gay
people. ~JC: You like Rhia's gay cousin. ~Aspen: I 'heart' Chris!
(traces a heart in the air with her finger) ~Rhia: (crosses her
arms and glares at Aspen) Umm excuse me! He's not my cousin, and
he's mine! So back off! And I'm pretty sure JC was talking about
Peter. ~Aspen: (choosing to ignore Rhia's last statement) Let's
talk about the bride and groom again. ~Rhia: Shush Aspen! Back to
the war! ~JC: Then the bride and groom got machine guns and fight
off aliens together forever. The end. ~Aspen: No, not the end! Four
is not an alien. He's running from aliens. ~Rhia: We're not talking
about 'I Am Number Four'. And just for the record, he is an alien.
~Aspen: (looking embarassed) The end!! ~Rhia: (as an afterthought)
I still love gay guys! ~Aspen: (throws her arms up in the air to
say 'I give up') ~JC: P.S. This play sucks!! ~Rhia: Yes it does.
(Lights dim and curtains close on the three friends drinking from
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