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American Repartee

Script By: Eskay Miras
Humor



Just a political satire set in 1999 during the George Bush administration. I've had this play performed in three theatres around London (minor theatres that is) so I hope you will enjoy it!


Submitted:Feb 22, 2013    Reads: 22    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Act 1

Scene 1

George and three advisors are in George's office. George is sat on a plush, red arm chair smoking a cigar, behind a desk. The desk is strewn with official looking documents.

The three advisors are sat in different places around the room. Alan is sat directly opposite George with a laptop on his lap. Mike is reading a book (1984) and Dick is snorting cocaine. The office is in disarray, with cigarette stubs and empty liqueur bottles scattered on the floor.

George: [Puffing on cigar] This shit's good.

Alan: Specially imported for you Mr President. Cuba has a good reputation for their cigars.

George: Huh, why do most of our good imports seem to come from other countries?

Alan: Erm...Yes. Mr. President, as I was saying-

Dick: [Simultaneously with "saying" and with an extremely lazy tone] Chillax Al. You take life too

seriously. Here why don't you try some of this shit?

Alan: I assure you, you would be taking life seriously if you understood the full implication of the President's proposal. And no, I refrain from such lowly activity.

Dick: [Looks towards George and laughs] (In a mocking tone) If you understood the full impli-bla bla bla.

Mike: [Absorbed in his book] Give the kid a break, Dick.

George: Alan! You, ma boy, are…yes.

Alan: Thank you Mr, President.

Knock on the door. Dick quickly attempts to hide the cocaine but spills it everywhere

George: Who the fuck is it?

Voice at door: [High pitched, sensual] I heard someone's been a naughty boy

Door opens. Policewoman enters holding a baton to her mouth and licking the tip suggestively.

Dick: About time! Al, liven up now, this is gonna get sexy!

Alan: [Shocked] Mr. President! Am I correctly led to believe that you have hired a stripper for a meeting regarding a potential war?

George: [Shocked] Al, of course I didn't! [Pause] The tax payers did.

Dick: You tell 'im George.

George: I've told him, Dick.

Alan: Mr. President, this is a serious issue! We mus-

Dick: Jheeze Al! Shut up! Why do you have to go all politics on us?

Alan: [Extremely sarcastic] I don't know. It can't possibly be because we're politicians!

Dick: [To George] I hate these new Harvard grads. They actually know things.

Mike: That's true. Hm.

Dick: [Lights a cigar] Hey George, give us a turn with her, why doncha?

Alan: [Turning to Mike and ignoring George, Dick and the stripper]: Mike, please tell me you don't agree with the president's proposal? Surely there's a better way out of this...this mess!

Mike: M'fraid not Al. You see sometimes, force has to be used, and we're lucky. We're the United States of America. We get away with things-

Alan: But Michael! How can a war possibly bring any good? Countless of civilians are going to be involuntarily drawn into the bloodshed. Children will die. Not to mention the economic damage we will suffer!

Mike: Al, 'war is peace'. And I believe I speak on behalf of Americans when I say we don't give two shits if people get hurt. As long as we get what we want.

Dick: Hey Al! Come and loosen up!

Alan: [Ignoring Dick] War is just a continuation of politics by other means! It's just morally-

Mike: [Simultaneously with 'morally'] If you're looking for doing the morally correct thing, you shouldn't be in politics.

George: Damn true.

Alan: Mr. President, there must be an alternative!

George: Maybe there is. But where is the fun in that?

Mike: Besides, the losses they'll suffer won't even be significant, Al.

End of scene 1. Curtain falls while stripper laughs childishly

(The other scenes and acts will be posted soon, depending on the reaction to this)





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