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I Don't Want To Be a Rock Star: Season 1 Episode 1

Script By: justinjay
Humor



Keith White is in search for a bass player for his struggling band. Until he discovers that the answer to all his problems lies in his friend Brian Danvers who is more interested in "Math and Science" than "Rock N' Roll". First episode of an ongoing sitcom about friendship, relationships, music and the ever sassy...Vicky Green! Enjoy!


Submitted:Jan 12, 2013    Reads: 73    Comments: 11    Likes: 8   


Episode 1 = I Don't Want To Be a Rock Star

Prologue

Keith White's garage - A garage band are rehearsing. The music is quite off beat. The band immediately stops jamming

Keith

(Keith White the guitarist of this band. A Slim shaped teenager. Long brown hair, blue eyes, tanned skin with devilish looks. He sets his red Telecaster electric guitar down)

Wow you guys now that's what I call jamming!

Mike

(Bass guitarist. A stocky teenager. Bald headed with a growing goatee. Sets his purple bass guitar down)

(excited) I know right!? Nobody could top that!

Alex

(Alex. The singer of this band. Another teenager who is slightly built, average weight but with a goofy face)

(chuckles) I really felt it that time, no doubt about it you guys, right Gregz? (looks back at Gregz who's sitting behind the drum set)

Gregz

(Gregz Mitchell. The drummer of this band. The same age as the others. Very pale and slim. Clothes all black, spike hair with purple highlights. Very moody and grim. Raspy and low registered voice.)

(mumbles)

Keith

After that rehearsal, we all need a break. How about it Mike? Wanna go out and get some ribs?

Mike

Dude of course! Maybe after the ribs we can get some chicks! (laughs)

Alex

(fake laughter) that was funny

Mike

Man that sounds awesome let me just hit the can, be right back you guys (opens the door) we're gonna rock so hard you guys!

Keith

Yeah! You know it Mike

Mike

Whoo-hooo! (exits)

Gregz

We need to fire him

Alex

Mike is horrible, Keith

Keith

I know, I know. What do you want me to do!? We don't have any choice. We have tried hundreds of different bass players and they all sucked so much! Mike is the last guy we have

Alex

(sighs) yeah but…he's horrible, is he on drugs?

Gregz

I say weed, but that's offending all the pot-heads

Keith

Alright! Fine! He's out then!

Alex

Alright, when he comes back from the "can" tell him the deal

Keith

I have to tell him? No way that's messed up dude!

Alex

Why can't you tell him?

Keith

Why does it have to be me? Why not Gregz?

Gregz

Because you're the "leader" of the band

Keith

Damn! How about rock-paper-scissors?

Alex

No way man, game is too complicated

Keith

(sighs) alright fine. You guys are the worst

Mike

(enters the garage) alright guys! I'm ready for them ribs!

Keith

Yeah (nervous chuckles) about that…

Alex

(smiles and pats Keith's back) I'm so glad I'm not you Keith

ACT ONE

Scene 1

Modern tech high - The school Hallways - High school students are going from one class to another; some are by the lockers - By the lockers: Keith walks over to Brian Danvers who is closing his locker

Keith

Hey Bri! What's up buddy?

Brian

(same age as Keith, medium weight and height. Full head of hair, looks very harmless and timid) please don't call me "Bri"

Keith

Why not? I've always called you Bri, ever since 3rd grade

Brian

And I've always told you not to call me "Bri"

Keith

You did? Whoa never noticed sorry Bri (pats Brian in the back)

Brian

Um, it's okay Keith

Keith

Hey bro, I kinda need some help with the math homework so I was wondering if…

Brian

(interrupts) … if I stop over your house and do your homework for you?

Keith

Well um, yeah. Man it sounds way better when you say it (chuckles)

Brian

Sure why not, "old friend" (Lisa Small and Brandon enters the scene with Brandon's arm around Lisa)

Lisa

(Teenage girl, same height as Keith and Brian. Long straight brown hair. Dressed in "rocker" attire like Keith. Cute with a cool demeanor) Hey guys! (notices that Brian has frozen up with shyness)

Keith

Hey Lisa (looks at Brian frozen with fear, smiles) Yo Brandon the season starts next week

Brandon

(A very muscular teenager. Has a cheeky face but with brutish handsome features) Oh yeah! I'm so ready! The coach said if we win the championship this year he's taking all of us to Vegas!

Keith

But you guys are fourteen

Brandon

Coach said he's got a whole box full of ID's! Cool right?

Lisa

(nudges Brandon) oh stop it! (looks at Brian) hey Brian, I heard you had a perfect score on that science quiz

Brian

(doesn't respond, still frozen)

Lisa

That was tough, especially question nine, right?

Brian

(doesn't respond, begins to sweat instantly)

Brandon

Whoa little man, we're not in the middle of August anymore

Lisa

(nudges Brandon again) oh Keith! What happened yesterday with Mike? Didn't work out with him?

Keith

Man, how do you know about that?

Lisa

He updated his status

Keith

I'm telling you; the guy couldn't keep any rhythm, we tried everything but nothing works out plus the guy stinked up my toilet!

Lisa

So what's going to happen to the band now? I literally just fixed the website the other days

Brandon

(cuts in) Yeah! She had to break one of our dates to work on that

Keith

(sighs) I don't know at this point, if I don't find any bass player by the end of the month we might as well just drop the whole thing

Lisa

(worried) but Keith! The website!

Brandon

(looks at his watch) whoa gotta head to gym class in five; c'mon babe!

Lisa

Keep me posted, bye Brian

Brian

(still frozen)

Keith

(Lisa and Brandon exits) what's wrong with you Bri? Not even a bye?

Brian

(sighs) you know how much I love her, I couldn't even muster up the strength to communicate with her

Keith

Here we go again, how many times I have to hear this? This is what? The billionth time?

Brian

That's impossible Keith; I would say the 886 time to be exact

Keith

Does it even matter dude?

Brian

Lisa Small is the girl of my dreams she's the only reason I wake up in the morning. One of these days we're going to be together and get married I can see it now.

Keith

(sarcastic) Yeah, I bet you do. Why don't you just talk to her?

Brian

I, I can't. When she looks at me with those mesmerizing eyes it's as if my entire immune system malfunctions!

Keith

Aw dude, that's nasty. For some reason

Brian

However, I am determined to conquer her heart

Keith

Well too bad her heart already has been conquered by the school's star quarterback

Brian

(clutching his chest; dramatically) I know, I know! How fate has played a cruel joke on me. What have I done to receive this horrible dilemma!?

Keith

Talking about "cruel" we better head to math class now before Mr. Jay goes on his "period" mood on us!

Scene 2

Mr. Jay's math class - Mr. Jay is giving a lesson. The students are bored and are not even listening - Keith is talking to Alex and Gregz in their table

Alex

Guys I hear Derek has a party next Saturday; he's looking for a band, dude he wants us in there

Keith

Has he heard us play before?

Alex

No but he has the hots for my sister (smiles)

Gregz

How much money is he offering?

Alex

Forty-five dollars per song!

Brian

(whispering from his own lonely table behind them) Shsssh! Come on you guys!

Keith

(looks back) sorry (faces Alex) that sounds pretty…

Gregz

…Cheap, we will not do business

Keith

What are you talking about!? That sounds amazing. Damn! Too bad we're not ready

Alex

We need Mike back in the band

Keith

No! No way! Never!

Brian

(from behind) Shssss! be quiet you guys I want to hear how he subtracts these fractions!

Gregz

Go rot in hell!

Keith

(barks at Gregz) Dude!

Mr. Jay

(Mr. Jay. A thirty something year old teacher. Tall, nice head of hair, wearing a buttoned down shirt. With a snobby attitude. Stands by the boys, looks at Keith with sharp eyes) Mr. White, how many times must I tell you to keep your mouth shut during my lessons?

Keith

Hmm I don't know, and I really don't care

Brian

(whispers loudly) Keith!

Mr. Jay

Keep it up Mr. White and you'll soon be visiting the principal's office…again!

Keith

(sarcastic) oh no please, I'll be nice next time. Bite me!

Vicky

(Vicky Green. A blonde teenager. Blonde, blue eyes, wearing exclusive and expensive clothing and merchandise. Poisonous attitude but extremely attractive. Enters the class room while texting on her pink blackberry phone) Oh (chuckles) what a little slut, DELETE! (puts the phone in her purse)

Mr. Jay

(annoyed) Ms. Green! Do you realize how late you are for my class?

Vicky

Umm, no

Mr. Jay

You are 35 minutes late for my class, what do you think about that?

Vicky

Thank god, only 10 minutes till lunch time, hooray for me

Mr. Jay

(really annoyed) don't you think your math education should be your biggest concern?

Vicky

Hey, I have a math equation for you; what's N plus O?

Alex

(raises his hand) Ooh Ohh I know I know

Vicky

(points to Alex) Alex?

Alex

N plus O equals NO!

Mr. Jay

Alright! That's enough! Take a seat Ms. Green

Alex

(looks at the guys) told you guys I've been studying my math

Scene 3

Night - Keith's bedroom - Keith is sitting on his bed playing guitar and writing on his note book. The room is a pigsty. Two acoustic guitars are on the floor, and a bass guitar is resting near the doorway - Brian knocks on his door

Keith

Come in buddy

Brian

(enters the room) hey um, where's your parents?

Keith

I don't know my mom told me something about vacationing

Brian

Okay (changes subject, looks around the room and sees the guitars lying around) ah yes, your "collection" I see you value your art?

Keith

Very funny mister comedian, a comment coming from a guy who can't even talk to one girl

Brian

Ouch, that was painful

Keith

Sorry Bri, got things on my mind

Brian

I know what's going to cheer you up (takes books out from his book bag) English, math and science!

Keith

(sarcastically) whoopee, my night has been saved (his cell phone rings) wait, its Alex, gotta take this (steps out of his room)

(cut to the exterior of Keith's room - Keith is talking on his cell)

Keith

So what's up? No, I haven't found anyone yet! (sighs) dude I think we should wrap this thing up. We're not going to go anywhere! Like seriously we don't even have a band name! Yeah, I'm going to call Gregz in the morning and tell him the whole band thing is off. (stops talking when he hears bass notes coming from his room) dude! Hold on! (rushes in the room)

(cut to Keith's room - Keith is shocked to see Brian playing the bass guitar like a pro)

Brian

(stops playing) oh Keith!

Keith

Dude!

Brian

My apologies (puts the bass down) I've noticed you've taken a long time on the phone so I picked up your old bass

Keith

I never knew you played the bass, hell I never knew you played anything other than video games!

Brian

I used to play all the time when I was younger, my uncle taught me. The bass was his favorite instrument that was his passion, well that and consuming drugs

Keith

You're Uncle Eddie? Man he was cool too bad what happened to him

Brian

Well it was obvious that a steady diet of narcotics can do to a human body

Keith

Oh man! Dude I found it! Can't believe it was under my nose all this time

Brian

What are you talking about?

Keith

(pointing at Brian) you! You're the answer!

Brian

I'm the answer to what?

Keith

I need you to play in my band!

Brian

What!?

ACT TWO

Scene 1

Keith's garage - one hour later - Keith, Gregz and Alex see Brian playing the bass. After playing some more notes Brian stops

Brian

There (puts the bass down) now can we study?

Keith

Hold on Bri (looks at Gregz and Alex who are stunned) band meeting fellas?

Alex

Hell yeah! (Keith, Gregz and Alex group up to the other side of the room)

Keith

So? What you guys think?

Alex

Keith, this can't be the same Brian Danvers that we know from school, it must be his double!

Keith

It's him

Alex

B-but Brian doesn't play the bass, the Brian I know likes to read books!

Keith

I know, I know

Alex

Keith, he needs to join our band!

Keith

Yeah

Gregz

He's a nerd

Keith

But there's a problem about that you guys

Gregz

He's a nerd

Alex

What is it? How can there be a problem? Brian is our guy!

Gregz

He's a nerd

Keith

He doesn't want to be in the band

Gregz

(snaps) WHAT!? (marches up to Brian, upset) who in the hell do you think you are!? Declining us!?

Brian

(confused) w-what!?

Keith

(rushes to Gregz and holds him back) whoa chill, Gregz! He just doesn't want to join us!

Alex

(concerned) why Brian? Are you mad at us because I put dog crap in your peanut butter sandwich that one time?

Brian

No and you put what in my peanut butter sandwich!?

Keith

Listen buddy, we have a gig that is willing to pay forty-five bucks per song; but we don't have a bass player. We looked everywhere and tried everyone but no one was good. Trust me we even held auditions!

Gregz

I still have nightmares about the auditions

Alex

Your whole life is a nightmare

Keith

Brian, your playing was out of this world, seriously you have skills. You're my last resort man; please you have to join our band

Brian

I'm sorry Keith, music is not me. My mind is committed only for the pursuit of knowledge. Not the pursuit of "sex, drugs and rock & roll"

Alex

And what the hell is wrong with that!?

Brian

(starts putting his books in his book bag) I'm sorry fellas, frankly I am disappointed. I actually thought we were going to have a study session

Keith

Yeah it's ok; see you tomorrow (Brian exits)

Gregz

Nerd!

Alex

Guys! What are we going to do!? We can't just let him go like that!?

Keith

Don't worry, I have a plan

Scene 2

The next day - Modern tech high - Hallways - Brian is walking towards his locker but gets stopped by a over weight bully

Bully

Hey! (leaning against Brian's locker) where you think you're going?

Brian

Obviously to my locker, which you are leaning

Bully

You sure about that? (gets closer to Brian; face to face)

Brian

I couldn't be more sure than anything in my life

Bully

Well, there's a problem (raises his hand, Keith comes from behind and grabs the bully before anything happens)

Keith

Alright! Back off! Brian is with me!

Bully

Okay, okay jeeze (starts leaving)

Keith

That's right! Better get out of here before something happens to you (pats Brian) don't worry dude we got your back

Brian

How much did you pay him to do that?

Keith

(sighs) twenty bucks

Brian

(shakes head) oh Keith, Keith, Keith

Keith

What? It almost worked right? Come on Brian I'm begging you to join us! What does it take?

Brian

(opens up his locker) for the last time, I am not interested.

Keith

Fine! You don't know what you're doing to me! You're destroying my dreams. My whole future is going up in ashes, no in flames dude! IN FLAMES! And you know why? Because you don't want to support me and play in my band, that's why! But hey like the losers who have nine-to-five jobs working behind a lame desk say "that's life"

Brian

(closes his locker)

Keith

Hey by the way can you stop by my house again? I'm really having problems with those fractions

Brian

Sure

Scene 3

Keith's Garage - The band are playing - then Brian enters

Brian

(covers his ear from the loud music) guys! (yells) GUYS!!!

Keith

(the guys stops playing) hello Bri! You made it

Brian

What's going on?

Alex

We're just jamming

Brian

I thought we were going to have a real study session!?

Gregz

We're never going to have one of those

Keith

(takes a bass guitar from the back and hands it to Brian) Gregz is playing around we're gonna have our study thing later. After you play us some bass grooves

Brian

Again with this!? I'm not joining your musical group, Keith

Keith

I know, I know you have made that perfectly clear, I just want to hear some of your notes while the magic is still alive

Brian

Alright, fine! But I get to pick how many pages we'll read later when we study! (takes the bass guitar and starts playing, after a minute or two of playing, Lisa enters the garage clapping)

Lisa

(clapping) whoa!

Brian

(stops playing and stands motionless)

Lisa

Oh my god! Brian that was amazing!

Keith

I know right?

Lisa

I, I loved it!

Brian

(faces Lisa) you, you did? (nervously sweating)

Lisa

Yes! You play like a professional!

Keith

I told ya! Too bad he doesn't want to join the band

Lisa

Aw man!

Brian

(snaps a look at Keith) wait, wait. (looks at Lisa) you really liked my little performance?

Lisa

It was the best!

Brian

(walks over to Keith, whispers) she really liked it!

Keith

(whispers) yep, so what?

Brian

(walks over to Lisa) I don't know what Keith is saying; I was actually giving it some thought and decided to join his group!

Keith

DUDE! You are!?

Alex

But you said that…

Brian

(interrupts Alex) Shssssssssshhhh!!! The past is the past and the future is the future!

Alex

(confused) what?

Keith

Who cares!? We have a band now!

Lisa

Yay! (hugs Brian) congrats!

Brian

(stands motionless again, smiling)

ACT THREE

Keith's garage - Hour later - Keith and Brian are looking at math textbooks

Brian

(smiling) touché Mr. White

Keith

What?

Brian

For setting up this whole plan; bringing Lisa while I was playing the bass. Very sly very cunning

Keith

Oh, well actually (smiling) that wasn't my plan, it was Alex's

Brian

Come again?

Keith

Alex set the whole thing up

Brian

Alex!? But he has the IQ of a termite!

Keith

(laughs) at least it worked! "Mr. Rock star"

Brian

(covers face with his hands) oh dear lord

END





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