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I Don't Want To Be a Rock Star: Season 1 Episode 3

Script By: justinjay
Humor



Brian has a serious case of stage fright, Can Keith and the boys cure him before the band plays an upcoming gig? Enjoy!


Submitted:Jan 25, 2013    Reads: 65    Comments: 6    Likes: 4   


Episode 3 - Stage Fright

Prologue

Keith White's Garage - Keith White, Brian Danvers, Gregz Mitchell and Alex finish rehearsing a song

Keith: (puts the guitar down) let's take five, guys

Alex: Five what?

Keith: You know...A five

Alex: Right, five what?

Brian: What Keith is implying is we should take a "break"

Alex: Okay, so where's the five come from?

Gregz: (upset) How can you be so dumb!?

Brian: By the way Keith, we have been here for half an hour, where are your parents?

Keith: (shrugs) Hm, I don't know. My mom said something about going shopping

Brian: Where? In Mexico?

Alex: (gets excited after reading a text message from his phone) guys! Guys! We finally have a gig!

Keith: What? Really!?

Alex: My cousin Jerry is having a back yard party next week and he's looking for a live band! When I told him that I'm in a band he said to get our asses over there!

Keith: Wait, isn't your cousin Jerry the guy who was in the army years ago?

Alex: Yep! The same!

Keith: Dude! We have an anti-war song remember? "War can suck it"

Alex: Aw man! I forgot. We don't have to do that song

Gregz: But it's the only original song we have

Alex: Crap!

Keith: We can make up a new song this week (both Alex and Gregz groan loudly)

Brian: This "gig" is there going to be people?

Alex: Of course, it's a back yard party

Brian: H-h-how many?

Alex: I don't know, like 20 or maybe 40. I hope they're all girls

Brian: I'm sorry I can't do it

Keith: Do what?

Brian: I can't perform in front people (starts packing his book bag, getting to leave)

Keith: Why not Bri?

Brian: (puts book bag on) I have stage fright (leaves the garage)

Alex: (everyone is stunned and speechless until) whoa

Keith: I know

Alex: "stage fright"…that should be the name of our band!

Keith: (excited) I know right!?

ACT ONE

Scene 1

Modern tech high - hallways - Brian is closing his locker, Keith walks over to Brian

Keith: Hey, Bri! We need to talk

Brian: (sighs) there's nothing to discuss. Keith (closes his locker)

Keith: Look, me and the guys "googled" stage fright, we know what it means

Brian: Really? You didn't know what stage fright meant before?

Keith: Um. (thinking) I used to know but totally forgot

Brian: (covers his face with his hands)

Keith: Dude, we can help you beat this stage fright!

Brian: You don't understand, I've had stage fright ever since I was a child. My therapist theorizes it must have been an event that occurred to me when I was young

Keith: You go to therapy?

Brian: Keith! I can not perform in front of people, especially a mass audience. You don't understand (looking at his hands) all those people…those eyes…those dreadful looking eyes….stabbing you with those looks…everyone of them…looking…and…looking…and looking…and look… (staring into empty space)

Keith: (Yells) BRI!!!

Brian: (screams) Ahhh! (shaking his head) I'm so sorry! I must have blacked out. But like I've stated before, I'm not doing it!

Keith: Aw come on! We will help you!

Brian: I surely doubt you'll make me overcome my stage fright (closes his locker) if my therapist failed what makes you think I can succeed?

Keith: You still go to therapy?

(Lisa Small walks up to the boys, she's upset)

Lisa: (Clutching a paper in her hands) I can't believe this, I just can't!

Brian: Lisa, you appear to be in a state of distress

Keith: He means you look upset

Lisa: Oh I'm just mad at the school's newspaper!

Keith: The school has a newspaper?

Lisa: Yeah, the "Daily Tech" I'm one of the journalist, I did this piece (shows the boys a paper) how this school hasn't recycled lately. They didn't even print it!

Keith: Oh boy

Lisa: I've spent all week on this piece and it gets cut! I just don't get it I know it's a great piece!

Brian: You have to uncover the answers!

Keith: (chuckles) I'm sorry, can't believe this school has a newspaper. But seriously, Bri is right. You have to take your butt to their offices, if they have an office…

Lisa: Yeah they do have an office

Keith: You've got to be kidding! Anyways, go out there and go face to face with the editor about this! Find out why your piece got cut!

Lisa: Yeah! You're right!

Keith: Remember go over there and kick some ass! Show no mercy to those pen pushers

Lisa: Yeah! I'm going over there right now! (marches off)

Keith: Um, did you know that the school has a newspaper?

Brian: Absolutely not

Scene 2

The offices of the Daily tech - A small office with only two computers, one huge desk takes the space in the room. The desk is piled up with photos and papers - Two boys; William and Baxter are sitting around the desk sorting out photos - Lisa enters the office and slams the door behind her; making the two boys jump up from their seats

William: (wearing reading glasses and is shorter than Lisa) Lisa! (clutching his chest) what are you doing here?

Baxter: (Bald but taller than William) Yeah, you scared us out of our puberty!

William: We haven't gone thru puberty yet, Baxter

Baxter: Shutttttt-uuuup! (snaps William a look)

Lisa: Why can't I be here? Don't I work here?

William: (to Baxter) she didn't get the memo

Baxter: Nobody ever does

Lisa: What are you guys talking about!? My peice has been cut from the new issue! And I demand to know why, where's the editor!?

William: You should have read the memo

Baxter: Listen Lisa. Last week the daily tech has gone thru a major transformation. A lot of us has been let go to make way for new freshman journalist and columnists. A lot of our piece has been cut because of the new editor

Lisa: A new editor? What happened to Rupert? (William and Baxter shrug)

William: (smiling) yeah, a new editor. She's going to change the way the school views the newspaper. With her on board someone will finally read an issue!

Lisa: "She"? Who's she?

Baxter: (points to the door that says "editor") just walk right in, she has been waiting for you all day

Lisa: Alright! (marches to the door, opens it and walks into the office)

(Cut to the editor's office - The entire office is covered in pink and red. The office resembles more of a beauty salon than a newspaper office. Vicky Green sits behind the desk, grinning)

Vicky: Hello, Lisa Small

Lisa: (shocked) no it can't be…you can't be the editor!

Vicky: (laughs) oh guess again (stands up and walks over to Lisa) I'm in charge now

Lisa: How did this happen? I-I don't get it…

Vicky: My daddy is in the board of Ed. When I told him I wanted to do this he talked to the principal. And here I am.

Lisa: Oh no, but why?

Vicky: I care about the school, when I heard that you were writing a piece on how this school doesn't recycle I know I had to step in and take charge. I won't allow you of all people to harm this school

Lisa: But you don't care about this school! Just the other day, you said this school needs to go up in flames!

Vicky: True, and I still say it needs to, I just can't find someone who's willing to do it

Lisa: So you killed my piece because…?

Vicky: Because it sucked and its not "newsie" stuff

Lisa: And what do you know about journalism!?

Vicky: Oh Lisa (laughs then puts her hand on Lisa's shoulder) I know about everything

Scene 3

Keith's garage - Keith, Alex and Gregz are rehearsing - then enters Brian

Brian: Hello band members (they all stop playing)

Keith: Bri

Brian: Is that a new song?

Alex: Yeah, it took us about 20 minutes to do it

Keith: Want to know the name of the song buddy?

Brian: Not necessarily…

Keith: (interrupts him) "Over come your fears"

Brian: Oh, that's brilliant. Let me guess the song is addressed to me…

Keith: (points to Brian) The song is about you buddy!

Gregz: I wanted to call the song "How much of a big scared nerd can you be?"

Keith: I decided against it

Alex: I have to admit that was pretty catchy too

Brian: I have to apologize for my behavior; I promise I will get over this stage fright

Keith: Alright! Here (hands Brian the bass guitar) want to practice the new song?

Brian: (smiles) sure (takes the bass and begins to play with the others. After a minute or two of playing the band stops)

Keith: Wooot! We have a winner with this song! Hey Bri I have a surprise for you buddy!

Brian: What is it?

Keith: (picks up a remote controller and presses a button) while all this time we were playing…(the garage door rises up) we were not alone

Brian: What!?

Keith: (the door rises to reveal two boys and one girl screaming) we had a audience

Guy #1: Woooot!

Guy #2: That was awesome!

Girl: More! Come on more!

Brian: (stunned) a-a-audience (feeling dizzy)

Alex: You alright?

Brian: They..were…look… (faints and falls to the floor)

Gregz: (everyone is shocked and stunned. The silence is broken by) the nerd has landed!

ACT TWO

Scene 1

The hospital - Brian is resting on a bed wearing the hospital gown - Keith, Gregz and Alex are standing beside him

Keith: Hey buddy, are you okay?

Brian: (embarrassed) Do I like 'okay'!? I, I can't not believe this, to faint in front of my friends and a live audience! I feel so much as a fool!

Alex: (bursts out laughing) DUDE! You just had to see yourself fall down! (imitating Brian's fall landing to the floor) BOOM! (gets up) Classic! (laughing)

Brian: (upset) very amusing!

Keith: Don't worry Bri, it was funny at first but now it's just sad (cracks a smile) no wait, it's a little funny

Brian: Arrrgh!

Keith: Buddy, don't worry about this we're going to fix your problem. We're going to make it work I promise you! When you joined our band…

Gregz: (cuts in) "stage fright"

Keith: …yeah, "stage fright" when you joined "stage fright" you did not only joined a band you joined a family

Alex: That was beautiful dude

Keith: (nods) I know

Alex: But not as beautiful as Brian's fall! (bursts out laughing again) BOOM!

Scene 2

Modern tech high - cafeteria - Vicky is sitting in her table with her friends; Shelly and Debby. Lisa walks up to them

Lisa: Vicky, we need to talk!

Vicky : Good morning, Mrs. "Smalley-Small" (both Shelly and Debby laugh)

Shelly: (laughing) totally!

Debby: What a lame name

Vicky: Simmer down my pets (looks at Lisa) what do you want?

Lisa: We need to talk about my piece; I won't let this lie down!

Vicky: Hell-oo! It's too late to do anything, the issue is already out. Everybody is reading all of the columns that everyone in my staff wrote, except yours of course (smiles)

Lisa: (sighs) how can you do this to me?

Vicky: Very easily (smiling)

Shelly: Totally

Debby: Bye-bye "Smalley-Small"

Lisa: (upset) this is not over Vicky, you'll end up putting my piece on the next issue! You'll see! (walks away)

Scene 3

The hallways - Brian and Alex are walking down the hallways

Alex: One the tricks to beat stage fright is how you to treat the audience

Brian: How I treat the audience?

Alex: Trust me, I'm a singer. So all the spotlight is on me right?

Brian: Unfortunately

Alex: If you're friendly with them they'll treat you friendly. If you're just messed up, they'll throw you some boo's over your way

Brian: So it depends on my attitude?

Alex: Word! If you give them a good first impression they'll forgive you if you mess up on stage

Brian: Hmm there is logic to what you say, Alex

Alex: You see? I'm smart!

Brian: I suggest you don't jinx yourself

Alex: Oh! You're right!

Scene 4

Gymnasium - Brian and Gregz are sitting at the bleachers while everyone in class is playing a sport

Gregz: When I'm on stage I only think about one thing

Brian: And what is that? Or is it a mistake to ask you?

Gregz: I think I have power. That's right, power that I use to make them look at me. I have that power. When I perform on stage, all their idiotic attention is focused on me instead of their pitiful lives. I like to think that I'm one of the reasons they forget about dying because they focus their hopeless energy on me. I enjoy that feeling

Brian: (scared, gets up)

Gregz: Where are you going?

Brian: I-I-I think I'm going to play some basketball now

Gregz: But you don't play basketball

Brian: I know (walks away)

Scene 5

Mr. Jay's math class - The students are doing their work except Keith who is talking to Brian; quietly

Keith: You know what I do when I perform on stage?

Brian: What?

Keith: In my head, I picture everyone in my audience are naked!

Brian: (shocked) what!?

Keith: Shsssh!, yeah everyone is naked, the boys, the girls; especially the girls!

Brian: My lord!

Keith: I even picture you guys naked!

Brian: But why!?

Keith: It would be kinda odd if we're not naked with the crowd

Brian: But that's horrific!

Keith: (loud) what's so bad about naked people!?

Mr. Jay: (comes from behind their table) to the principals office Mr. White!

Scene 6

Daily tech offices - Vicky's office - Vicky is sitting on her desk texting and laughing, until Lisa barges in

Vicky: (laughing) and you're back!

Lisa: For the last time Vicky, will you put my piece on the next issue?

Vicky: Oh sweetie, of course not

Lisa: Fine! I didn't want to do this but you left me with no choice (reaches into her back pack)

Vicky: What are you going to do?

Lisa: (shows Vicky a series of photos) this was you weeks ago in the morning; I took these photos by accident. You see what you're wearing?

Vicky: (looks at the photos closely; face turns ghost white) no! no!

Lisa: That's right, that's the day you were wearing that polyester coat and you didn't even go to school

Vicky: My mother made me wear that garbage to meet her friends!

Lisa: If you don't include my piece on the next issue, I will gladly post these pics over the internet for everyone to see!

Vicky: (loud gasp) you wouldn't dare!

Lisa: Try me!

Vicky: Fine! (gets up) but this is not over yet! Oh (laughs) its not over!

Lisa: I know, I'm ready for anything

Baxter: (comes in the office) Um, I like really am sorry to interrupt this epic showdown moment but Um, what letter coloring you would like for the front page?

ACT THREE

Alex's cousin Jerry's backyard party - Keith, Brian, Alex and Gregz finish their last song - everyone in the party goes wild

Jerry: (30 something year old man, very built with short blonde hair; shouting) now that's what I call a performance! Good work soldier! (punches Alex's arm hard)

Alex: Ouch!

Jerry: Now drop down and give me 50!

Alex: No way Jerry!

Jerry: NOW!

Alex: Okay, okay! (starts doing pushups)

Keith: That was awesome Bri!

Brian: Thank you

Keith: How did you do it? You didn't even faint

Brian: Let's just say I overcame stage fright (smiles)

Keith: (high fives Brian) awesome! Plus we're changing our band name. No more "stage fright"

Brian: Thank goodness, let me use the bathroom. I'll be right back

Keith: Cool

(cut to - Inside Jerry's empty house)

Brian: (takes out a bottle and drink two pills) Hmm, oh medicinal drugs, you have done a young man wonders this evening (takes one more pill)

END





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