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I Don't Want To Be a Rock Star: Season 1 Episode 5

Script By: justinjay
Humor



Brian receives an extra unnecessary math class on his new school schedule. Keith believes the only way to "fight back" against the math teacher is just not coming to class at all! Will Brian take keith's advice and play "hookey"!? Enjoy!


Submitted:Feb 16, 2013    Reads: 36    Comments: 4    Likes: 3   


Episode 5 - Taking the Fun Out of Cutting

Prologue

Modern tech high - hallways - Brian Danvers is putting books in his locker, Lisa Small and Brandon are beside him; having a conversation

Brandon: Ah come on babe! I want to take you out tonight; we've been so busy these past few weeks with you and your projects and me with football practice, I hardly see you!

Lisa: I know Brandon, I'm so sorry. But not tonight

Brandon: Babe! You're breaking my heart

Brian: (to himself) welcome to my world

Brandon: (turns around to Brian) what was that?

Brian: (surprised) Oh! I said nothing, nothing at all

Lisa: Look I'll make it up to you; this Sunday I'm not doing anything. If you come over my place (Brandon gets closer to her) I'll make you the best burger you'll ever have

Brandon: Hmmm, that sounds delicious (starts kissing her)

Brian: (glances at them kissing; getting uncomfortable) Um (the kissing turns into the two making out. Brian tries to look around) Um, Brandon…Lisa? (they don't hear him) Um, hello? (they continue) alright! (slams the locker really hard making a loud sound that finally catches their attention)

Brandon: Whoa!

Lisa: (embarrassed) that reminds me I'm super late for class!

Brandon: Yeah me too (kisses Lisa's cheek) check you later Brian! (fist pumps him and leaves)

Lisa: Sorry about that Brian

Brian: Sorry about what?

Lisa: You know…

Brian: Oh, the "Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation" session?

Lisa: It's that it's been such a long time since we've been alone. I sometimes feel I haven't been the good girlfriend lately

Brian: Don't say that, I find your self-observation to be false

Lisa: Aw, thanks buddy. I think

Brian: Take my word for it, you have done nothing wrong, in my opinion granting each other space is a wise thing to do

Lisa: Wow, you're right! Man I cant believe you're single

Brian: (gets sad) I have no other choice but to believe it

(Keith White walks over to Brian and Lisa, with a yellow piece of paper in hand)

Keith: (happy) Hey Bri, Lisa

Lisa: Hey

Keith: (to Brian) dude, did you get your schedule changed?

Brian: Yes I have

Lisa: Schedule changed?

Keith: Bri here doesn't have to do all eight periods anymore so he gets to leave earlier than us

Lisa: Wow, that's cool

Brian: (blushing) oh no, no, no it's nothing really

Keith: The principal gave him only 6 periods but with an extra class that he can choose (smiles at Brian) and what class did you ask them to put, buddy?

Brian: Um, band class

Keith: (excited) oh yeah! Band class! Bri is going to be with us that period!

Lisa: Cool!

Brian: Unfortunately I passed down the chemistry class for it but I have hopes this will pay off

Keith: You saw your schedule?

Brian: I haven't had the time…

Keith: (interrupts) don't worry I have a copy (shows him the yellow paper)

Brian: How in the world did you…

Keith: (interrupts, reading the schedule) "first period - PE class, second - science , third - English Lit., fourth - math, fifth - lunch and sixth" (stops reading then looks confused) "math 2"?

Brian: "math 2"?

Lisa: "math 2"?

Keith: What in the hell is "math 2"!?

(Alex and Gregz Mitchell enters when they hear "math 2")

Alex: "math 2" is that class I take

Keith: You take that class?

Gregz: "math 2" is basically math class for (looks at Alex) special people

Alex: Oh thanks Gregz (happy)

Brian: No! I-I-it must be a mistake!

Alex: So who has "math 2"?

(Keith, Lisa, and Gregz points to Brian)

Alex: Hey cool! You're special just like me!

ACT ONE

Scene 1

Modern tech high - cafeteria - Keith, Gregz, Brian and Alex are sitting in their table eating

Keith: I am so pissed, dude

Alex: I know right!? I asked them for extra dipping sauce for my fish sticks! But nothing! (pounds the table with his hands) GOD! I hate this school!

(the boys looks at him for a second; awkwardly)

Keith: (breaks the silence) anyway, Bri you have to talk to Mr. Jay about your schedule!

Brian: I know, I know

Keith: You need band class in there, just like us!

Brian: That is the very first thing I'm going to bring up when I speak with Mr. Jay

Gregz: Yeah, instead of talking about equations and fractions like if it's sporting events

Alex: Seriously dude, I've seen you guys giggle when you divide numbers

Brian: (giggles then smiles) oh in-proper fractions, good times, good times

Alex: (pointing somewhere) guys look!

(the boys look at where Alex is pointing. A blonde girl is arguing with a tall boy by the line; causing a scene)

Girl: (upset) so that's where you were last Friday!? With Michelle!

Guys: No, you don't understand it wasn't like that…

Girl: (screams) LIAR!!!

Guy: Come on, keep it down everyone is listening now

Girl: I don't give a crap! You lied to me! You were with that slut! (slaps the guy across the face)

(Alex gets excited and laughs)

Keith: What the hell just happen? Chris and Dharma were like the best couple in school

Alex: (smiles) yeah used too

Brian: What did you do? (pauses) this time?

Alex: Remember the blog I made? Where I posted my thoughts on life?

Keith: You have thoughts?

Alex: I made a new blog! This one is about gossip!

Gregz: Gossip?

Alex: Yep! I call it my "gossip java" I start rumors around the school and just wait until it spreads

Keith: No way!

Brian: You're spreading rumors? How can you live with yourself?

Alex: My blog just reached 100 followers! 100 followers! This is awesome!

Gregz: You're creating chaos, its perfect.

Alex: You see? Even Gregz likes the idea

Keith: Yeah of course, that's like getting approval from Satan

Scene 2

Math class - Mr. Jay is walking around the room handing the students paper

Mr. Jay: Now kids, last week's quiz was just a warm up for the test I'm going to hand out this Friday (all the students moan) oh grow up! My dog gets higher grades than all of you…if he was human of course…and If owned a dog…Or even have the money to afford one…

(Vicky Green enters the class room; Mr. Jay looks at her upset and points to his watch)

Mr. Jay: Ms. Green, you're late again!

Vicky: (not caring) I know (takes her seat)

Mr. Jay: If you keep coming late to my class, there won't be any chance of you passing

Vicky: My daddy is on the board of ED

Mr. Jay: Good point (looks at his watch) well class the period is almost over but I just have to tell you all that its never too late to study, Friday's test is going to have (the bell rings all the students gets up from their seats and rush out of the class room) alright, alright! Good day to you all

Brian: (packing his book bag, then walks over to Mr. Jay) Mr. Jay can I discuss a matter with you?

Mr. Jay: Of course Mr. Danvers, you want to do another equation? I bought a new sharpener for this occasion

Brian: Oh no, no. not this time. And I also bought a new calculator (smiles) but it's not what I wanted to discuss

Mr. Jay: What is it? (collecting the papers from every desk)

Brian: It's about my program change, on my 7th period class I requested band class instead I have "math 2"

Mr. Jay: That's correct

Brian: Obviously I don't want to be coy, but I don't need "math 2" compare me to all my fellow students I seem to be the one that takes care of the drunk monkeys

Mr. Jay: "drunk monkeys"?

Brian: I get curious and explore the internet…at times

Mr. Jay: I know you don't need another math class, especially a class that is only for people like…

Brian: Alex

Mr. Jay: Yes, of course. The way I see it, you can practically teach this class

Brian: Why do I have it then?

Mr. Jay: Simple, I don't want you to have band class

Brian: (shocked) e-e-excuse me?

ACT TWO

Scene 1

Modern tech high - the boy's bathroom - Brian is washing his hands, Keith is on the urinal

Keith: That is so messed up; did he really say all that?

Brian: Yes, yes he did

Keith: Mr. Jay is such a dirt bag! I swear, what else did the dufus said?

Brian: He said if I continue attending your jam sessions I'll probably end up like you

Keith: (finishes up) whoa! (flushes the urinal) that's it! I'm officially pissed now (walks over to the sink)

Brian: I didn't know how to feel at that moment, he described himself as my mentor

Keith: (gets upset) dude! I'm your mentor! Don't let his evil words get to you! That's how all math teachers are, they tell you things that you want to hear and then when you don't know it you end up as their slaves

Brian: I think your overreacting

Keith: (agitated) do you want to be his slave, Bri?

Brian: Of course not!

Keith: Do you want to be a slave!?

Brian: No! Never! Unless Lisa is looking for a…

Keith: (interrupts) Listen up! You have "math 2" in two periods

Brian: Yes

Keith: Instead of going to his class, you're going to be with us; in band class

Brian: Wait, are you suggesting that I not attend my class to be in your class? Isn't that…

Keith: Yep, cutting class

Brian: That is out of the question, Keith

Keith: What? Why not?

Brian: I will never "cut" class; I devote my life to education

Keith: But you don't need that class, you said it yourself!

Brian: Yes true, but I still have my dignity and self-respect!

Keith: What self-respect? Dude think about it if you go to that class that just means Mr. Jay has got a hold of your man parts!

Brian: "man parts"?

Keith: Bri, does Mr. Jay has a hold on your man parts?

Brian: No! My goodness no!

Keith: Well it looks like he does and I don't like the way he's using them

Brian: (upset, opens his mouth but stops and thinks)

Scene 2

The hallways - Vicky is texting on her phone, she's with her friends Shelly and Debby

Vicky: I told Becky her blue top was pretty

Shelly: Totally

Vicky: Pretty disturbing (giggles)

Debby: (chuckles) totally!

Shelly: She's so fat

Debby: Totally

(Steve, a big muscular guy walks up to Vicky, upset)

Steve: Vicky, we need to talk

Vicky: Hi, hun

Steve: I read in the "gossip java" blog that you were going to break up with me, is it true?

Vicky: (surprised, looks at Shelly and Debby, then smiles) Oh! Wow! Um, yeah (fakes sadness) I'm so sorry Jack...

Steve: Steve!

Vicky: Whatever, it just couldn't work out sorry

Steve: I hate you! (walks away)

Vicky: (laughs) wow! That was easy; "gossip java" just saved me time and money on this one. Yay for me

Debby: Totally

Shelly: John was such a loser anyway

Debby: It was Steve

Vicky: Who cares!? (back to texting)

Scene 3

Band Class - The room is big with a classroom of students playing their respected instruments - Keith is standing by the rows of guitars, Gregz is cleaning his drum cymbals, Alex is playing around with the piano and Brian is sitting in the chair nervous

Brian: W-w-where is the teacher?

Keith: Relax; Mr. Jones is like 90 years old he won't know anything

Alex: He doesn't even know himself

Brian: So where is he?

Gregz: He's probably dead

(the rest of the students laugh)

Brian: I am in so much trouble!

Keith: Dude, no you're not! I told you you're doing the right thing!

Brian : "cutting class" is the right thing?

Alex: It's always the right thing! (gets a message from his phone) Oh! (checks his phone) oh cool my "gossip java" just reached 250 followers! My blog is so popular! (a girl stops playing with her xylophone and walks up to Alex)

Petra: You're in charge of "gossip java"

Alex: Yeah Petra, cool right?

Petra: (yells) "cool"!? YOU SON OF A BITCH!! You ruined my life! (attempts to choke Alex)

Alex: (gets up from the piano seat and runs away while Petra is chasing him) SEE YOU GUYS LATER!

Gregz: That's the official end of his blog

Brian: I-I-I need to get out of here

Keith: Hey don't worry about it, Petra is crazy but she's not after you

Brian: I am not talking about that! (gets up) I need to go to Jay's class before it's too late

Keith

No! You're just going to lose

Brian: Lose what? What am I going to lose? Please do tell

Keith: It's all mind games Bri, by you staying here you're just proving that you have a mind of your own, following your dreams and will not be picked on by guys like Mr. Jay! Don't lose the mind games bro; it's all we have to beat Mr. Jay to show him that we're not people he can push around! (pauses everyone in the class stops what their doing and applaud and cheer ) thanks guys, man I feel like I should have won an Oscar with that speech!

(by the doorway of the band class, Mr. Jay is standing; clapping slowly and grinning)

Mr. Jay: Good speech Mr. White (everyone stops clapping, Brian freezes up with fear)

Keith: Oh crap

Mr. Jay: "mind games" uh?

Brian: M-m-m-Mr. Jay I apologize

Mr. Jay: Save it Mr. Danvers, we'll talk later (enters the room)

Keith: You're an evil dude, a really, really, really evil dude

Gregz: (sarcastic) that's telling him, Keith

Mr. Jay: How can you say I'm "evil"? I'm helping him and all my students. Is that "evil"?

Keith: You're manipulating him! You're forcing him to take that class and not letting him do what he wants

Mr. Jay: I think he doesn't like music as much as you do, Mr. Danvers would just go for mathematics just like me!

Keith: I'm not letting Bri become you!

Brian: (yells) stop! Stop! Stop it! Both of you stop it! (Keith and Mr. Jay stops arguing) can't the both of you see it? You're both trying to make me like yourselves! Keith, your trying to turn me into a "rockstar" and you Mr. Jay you're trying to turn me into a "mathematician" but no! I'm not trying to be your dreams! I just want to be…

Gregz: (interrupts) a nerd? (the students giggle)

Brian: (gives Gregz a look) a little bit of those things (packs up and starts to leave the room) I'm going to change my schedule (leaves)

Keith: (stunned) wow

Mr. Jay: I'm dumbfounded

Keith: (smiles) I'm glad you found out your dumb

Mr. Jay: (sarcastic ) amusing

Gregz: I think we need to find Mr. Jones; the old man has been in the bathroom for 40 minutes

ACT THREE

Brian's house - Brian's bedroom - Brian is sitting on his computer chair typing on the computer and talking on his phone

Brian: Yes Keith, I changed my schedule back to 8 periods, yes. I just had too. No, no, I have to apologize for saying all that to you. I agree. (pause) What am I doing now? Just cross-referencing molecular levels, no it's not boring. Alright goodnight

(hangs up the phone. Types some more finally stops and watches a video. Monkey sounds is heard)

Brian

(laughs) oh Mr. Zingos, better not keep drinking that whiskey! (laughs while more monkey sounds is heard)

END





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