Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

It's The End of The World as We Know It

Script By: justinjay
Humor



Short sketch. Best friends Andy and Tony spend their last moments together until the end arrives. Enjoy!


Submitted:Dec 18, 2012    Reads: 160    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


"It's The End of The World as We Know It"

Scene

December 20, 2012 - 11:02pm - Inside Andy's small and dirty apartment - Andy walks over to the door and opens it - Enters his best friend; Tony

Tony

Andy! Did I make it on time!?

Andy

Just two minutes late, no big deal. Grab a seat

Tony

(Sits down on the only couch of the apartment) "No big deal"? I think the end of the world is a pretty big deal!

Andy

Yeah, "end of the world" according to the Mayans you mean! (Walks to the kitchen)

Tony

You still think it's not true uh?

Andy

(Returns from the kitchen with two beer bottles) c'mon Tony! You know I don't believe in this "supernatural" crap! (Hands Tony a beer)

Tony

Wow! So this is what is it is to you? "Supernatural"? (Opens the bottle and starts drinking)

Andy

(Sits down on his computer chair facing Tony) you can't sit there and tell me our entire existence is going to vanish by tomorrow! You've got to be kidding me. Just because the freakin' Mayans finished their calendar with that date!

Tony

Okay, so how do you explain all the crazy stuff that's been happening lately? Like the recent hurricanes and earthquakes!?

Andy

That's been going on for hundreds of years!

Tony

(shakes his head) you say that now but when something happens tomorrow you're going to be the first one taking out your bible from storage and will be praying all day long!

Andy

Sorry to disappoint you, I'm an atheist

Tony

(Sighs) of course you are (drinks)

Andy

(Chuckles) how was your "last week on Earth" anyway?

Tony

Pretty cool, I tried stuff that I've never tried before. Some pretty dangerous stuff!

Andy

Like what? Bungee jumping, Mountain climbing, Heroin usage?

Tony

Nope, none of those things! Tried Linguini, wow my taste buds went to heaven!

Andy

(Disappointed) oh, what else?

Tony

Finally finished reading an entire book from start to finish

Andy

What book?

Tony

"War and Peace"

Andy

"War and Peace"!? You've been reading that for the last 7 years!?

Tony

I know, I know. Pretty wild stuff

Andy

(Gets up) want another one? (Points to the empty beer bottle)

Tony

Yeah, of course (Andy enters the kitchen) so Andy, what did you do?

Andy

(Returns and hands Tony another bottle) Remember that jogger I always saw during my run?

Tony

(thinking) Hm ,"The jogger"?

Andy

Yeah, remember? (Sits down) the red head that always waved at me, we jog the same time every morning

Tony

Oh yeah! Yeah! (Opens the bottle)

Andy

Well, yeah the other days I asked her out

Tony

(Impressed) Oooh!

Andy

Right! We went out last night, took her by that clam soup place by the corner of 57th…

Tony

"Rays" right?

Andy

Yeah!

Tony

God I love that place! That's where Trish and I signed our divorce papers; the garlic bread is to die for!

Andy

(Nods) tell me about it!

Tony

Then what happened!?

Andy

Well, it turns out we're cousins!

Tony

(Disappointed) Oooooh, oh no! Not good

Andy

Oh yeah. We talked about our families then we realized that our mothers have the same father. I guess that's why I was attracted to her, because I haven't seen her for almost 20 years

Tony

Oh yeah, that explains everything. I remember you have a very big family

Andy

Yeah, oh talking about family; how's your mom doing?

Tony

(Grumbles) treating me like hell, that's what she's doing!

Andy

What's going on?

Tony

Ever since she's getting married to that multi-billionaire douche bag she's driving me crazy with wedding preparations!

Andy

Wow what a catch! That doesn't sound too bad

Tony

(Frustrated) oh yeah everybody says that but I know that sonvabitch poisoned and killed my dad!

Andy

Whoa! Any proof of that?

Tony

Not at the moment but I know he did it just to get with my mom! It turns out he used to stalk her throughout high school! What a prick!

Andy

Yep! Definitely sounds like a prick. A "multi-billionaire prick"

Tony

ACK! Who needs him anyway!? Money doesn't buy happiness! PEOPLE buy happiness! Know what I mean!?

Andy

Um, no I really don't (gets up and walks to the kitchen) want another beer?

Tony

(Drinks) keep them coming

Andy

(Returns and hands the bottle to Tony) hey, this morning I had a flashback!

Tony

Flashback?

Andy

Yeah! (Sits down) remember Stacy from College?

Tony

Which Stacy? The prostitute

Andy

No! Stacy Wilson? Remember?

Tony

Wasn't she a prostitute?

Andy

(Shakes his head) no man! That was Stacy Wilson White!

Tony

Aren't they the same person?

Andy

No! You remember her right?

Tony

Yeah, you guys were together for awhile during second semester of sophomore year, right?

Andy

Yeah, I wonder what ever happened to her!

Tony

Oh! She has 5 kids now, gotten recently divorced

Andy

(Surprised) what!? How do you know!?

Tony

She sent me a friend request weeks ago, forgot to tell you that (drinks)

Andy

How come she didn't send me a friend request? We DATED for awhile!

Tony

Yeah, I think she hated you

Andy

She hated me!? You must be drunk!

Tony

No seriously, she hated your guts. In fact everyone from school hated you

Andy

Really!? How could anyone hate me?

Tony

You were really annoying, GOD you were so annoying! At some point I even hated you

Andy

You hated me!?

Tony

Yeah! Hating you was something cool, everyone was doing it

Andy

(Upset) I…I never knew!

Tony

Hey, don't take it so hard buddy; hating you brought so many people together

Andy

(Sarcastic) I'm glad to be of such help

Tony

What time is it anyway?

Andy

(Looks at his watch) 11:17

Tony

Too early, the apocalypse is taking forever

Andy

Yeah, according to the Mayans

Tony

(Sighs) here we go again! "Mr. Non-believer"

Andy

Hey look, whatever happen, happens. All I know is I'm proud that our friendship has survived since the beginning of time

Tony

(Smiles) we've been through it all

Andy

(Raises his beer bottle up in the air) let's give toast to "the end"

Tony

(Raises his bottle) according to the Mayans (chuckles)

(Andy and Tony sit silently for a moment until)

Tony

I wonder how much Sarah Wilson White charges?

Andy

Shut up

END





0

| Email this story Email this Script | Add to reading list



Reviews

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Self Publishing | Advertise

© 2013 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.