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My Twin Sister

Script By: justinjay
Humor



Just a short sketch about an old sibling rivalry between sisters. Hope you enjoy and please leave a comment this is my first posted material.


Submitted:Dec 15, 2012    Reads: 553    Comments: 2    Likes: 2   


"My Twin Sister"

Scene

Inside a kitchen - Mary Smith; a 35 year old woman, tall, skinny with brown hair. Wearing a yellow top with brown slacks is busy chopping up lettuce and putting it inside a huge bowl - a knock is heard from the back door

Mary

(Yells) COME RIGHT IN! IT'S OPEN!

(Enter Mary's identical twin sister; Sarah Smith who's wearing a black and white pin stripe business suit)

Sarah

Hey, hey there little sis!

Mary

We were just 3 seconds apart, Sarah

Sarah

Does that still matter? You should have been in my office's party last night! Wow! The guys that were there! (Sighs) it's too bad I got too drunk to even remember why we held a party!

Mary

Maybe you're just getting old

Sarah

(Offended) No! YOU'RE GETTING OLD!

Mary

Yeah, that's right! Unlike you I welcome it

Sarah

Well, well when did my "little sister" grow up so much!?

Mary

(Annoyed) 3 seconds apart! (Puts all the lettuces in the bowl; reaches for the vinegar that's nearby) I hate to leave this topic but I really need to ask

Sarah

(Opens up a peanut jar that was nearby the counter) what?

Mary

Have you been sleeping with Walter again?

Sarah

(Starts eating Peanuts) and who would like to know?

Mary

Oh I don't know…HIS WIFE!?

Sarah

Oh! (Chuckles) yeah, I am. He's so adorable you know?

Mary

(Upset) Jesus Christ Sarah! That's my husband!

Sarah

That's why he always comes back to me; he desperately tries to forget that fact!

Mary

(Stops what she's doing to face Sarah; frustrated) you're a monster! You know that!? You have no damn soul!

Sarah

Mary, please don't say that! I'm not the problem here; you are

Mary

WHAT!?

Sarah

Yeah! Walt tells me, even your old high school and college boyfriends tell me that you just Yak too much during sex! That you love to talk about your day…in full detail!

Mary

But I thought it makes it more pleasurable when you talk…

Sarah

Yeah the simple stuff like "Spank me" "oh baby" or yell out the guy's name! Not discussing the Stock market trade!

Mary

Well it doesn't matter! I want this to stop right now! You don't know how your tearing up our marriage by using my husband has your personal sex toy!

Sarah

(Puts the jar back) hold on! Do you actually think I'm having myself a ball!? You think I'm living my life as happy as a clam!? Sure I have fantastic sex every night! Sure I work in a high paying job! Sure I have my own parking space! All of that doesn't matter to me because all this time I have been lonely! Ever since Henry died two years ago, I've tried everything to fill the void!

Mary

Don't give me that! When Henry was alive you were still cheating on him with WALTER!

Sarah

(Stops and then reminiscence for a seconds; she smiles) yeah, I remember those nights

Mary

(Upset) you know what? I'm tired of this! (Opens up the drawer and takes out a black 9 millimeter hand gun and aims it on Sarah) all the years of torture ends today! Right now!

Sarah

Oh yeah!? (Reaches inside her black purse and takes out a black Uzi and aims it on Mary) you thought I wasn't prepared for this? Bring it on bitch!

Mary

I've dreamed about this moment all my life! When you die I'll make sure to dance on your grave every single night until the day I die!

Sarah

You don't even know how to dance!

Mary

Fine! I'll take up dancing classes if I have to!

(At that moment Walter enters through the back door - Walter a man who is 33 years old, average weight and size, trimmed beard and brown hair is caught in the middle of the square off)

Walter

(Awkwardly) Um, heeeey girls! What are you doing?

Sarah

Don't you see what we're doing!?

Mary

I'm going to end it all right now! Sarah has ruined my life for the last time!

Walter

Um, riiight. Hey listen I just wanted to make a quick pit stop and grab a beer from the fridge

Mary

I don't think we have any!

Walter

You sure? Cause I could have sworn…

Mary

Just check the fridge and then get out! This is going to get messy!

Sarah

Oh my god! I'm so dying to put a few bullets right between your eyes!

(Walter runs over to the fridge and takes out the last beer can)

Walter

Hey there we go! A little "Coors light" wouldn't hurt

Mary

(Anxious) Will you please leave!?

Walter

(Looks at the can more closely then becomes disappointed) oh no! This has "fewer calories"!

Mary

GET OUT!

Walter

Okay, okay (runs to the back door and opens the door)

Sarah

(To Walter) see you tonight?

Walter

Um, maybe (exits)

Mary

Yeah, he'll see you…in a body bag!

Sarah

Alright! Bring it on! (Sarah's cell phone gives out a loud beep) wait! Hold on (the two lower their guns. Sarah reaches into her purse and takes out her phone, then reads her message) Ah crap!

Mary

What is it?

Sarah

(Sighs) my lunch break is over; we'll do this again tomorrow (puts her Uzi back in her purse)

Mary

Alright (puts her gun back in the drawer) so same time tomorrow then?

Sarah

Yeah you bet! (Opens up the back door ready to leave) see ya little sis! (Exits)

Mary

(Yells back) 3 SECONDS APART! (Shakes her head and returns cooking)

END





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