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The Tale of Ceres' Serpent Cereal

Script By: Mathew Nicolson
Humor


Keith Ceres wishes to be able to taste the joy of Ceres' Serpent Cereal, but first he must pass the Corn Identification Test. His brother John may only watch with jealousy. An ancient prophecy predicts the end of the cereal, can Keith stop this?


Submitted:Jul 21, 2011    Reads: 26    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


KEITH'S ROOM.

KEITH is lying asleep in bed. He has cereal posters on the
walls.

NARRATOR
(V.O)
What you are about to witness, is
the story of the Ceres
family. This is the story of Keith
Ceres' inheritance, his emotional
struggle to complete the tasks that
were laid ahead of him, and his
rivalry with his brother, John.

CUT TO:

PROPHECY ROOM.

WILL CERES and FORTUNE TELLER sit over a crystal ball.

NARRATOR
(V.O)
But our story begins 133 years
before Keith Ceres was born. His
great-great-great-great-grandfather,
Will Ceres, the creator of Ceres'
Serpent Cereal, was given a
horrific prediction...

FORTUNE TELLER
Why have you seeked me out, young
one?

WILL
Forgive me sir... I wouldn't ask if
this weren't neccesary.

FORTUNE TELLER
Aaah... You seek the future of
your... what is it?
Breakfast-cereal?

WILL
Yes. Please, it is essential that
I know... will it be successful?

FORTUNE TELLER
The future is clouded... However...
Your Ceres' Serpent Cereal will
still be here in the next century,
and indeed, the century afterwards.

WILL
YES!!

FORTUNE TELLER
However! In the year 2010 Anno
Domini, there will be a great
tragedy. Your cereal will not pull
through.

WILL
What must I do?

FORTUNE TELLER
To save your cereal... Nobody in
your family can eat cereal until
they have passed their corn
identification test with 110%.

Will gasps.

WILL
But that has only been done once
before!

FORTUNE TELLER
If that is not so, and someone of
your family does consume Ceres'
Serpent Cereal... There will be
death. The cereal will die out,
and your legacy left in tatters.

WILL
Thank you, great one...

Will stumbles out.

FORTUNE TELLER
(laughing)
He actually believed me? I swear,
these cereal makers are getting
stupider and stupider...

He holds up some coins.

FORTUNE TELLER
And, fortunately for me, richer!

He laughs again, and gets up, leaving the room.

KEITH'S ROOM.

Caption reads: "149 years later".

Keith's eyes suddenly jam open. He leaps out of bed, fully
clothed, and dashes out the door.

CUT TO:

KITCHEN.

KEITH runs in.

KEITH
Ah, mother and father must be out
at work on the fields.

He grabs some toast that coincidentally has just appeared on
the toaster.

His eyes are then attracted to a cupboard.

He moves towards it, and opens it.

Inside, it a box of Ceres' Serpent Cereal.

Keith gazes longingly at it.

KEITH
Not long now... Soon, you will be
mine, my sweet.

He darts upwards and closes the door as if to hide some act
of treachery, and without further ado, exits the house.

Another cupboard door opens, and out rolls JOHN.

JOHN
I... cannot... take... this...
ANYMORE!!!

He collapses.

FADE TO:

MONTAGE OF KEITH SITTING HIS EXAM.

A piece of paper reads

"Which Cereal was created by the experimental cross breeding
of corn and guinea pigs?'

A. Ceres' Serpent Cereal?
B. Bixawheat?
C. Goldilocks With No Added Sugar?
D. Seven Wonders Of The Field?"

Keith smiles, and ticks 'Ceres' Serpent Cereal'

He ticks more boxes, until finally-

VOICE
Please submit your paper for
marking.

Keith, the only person in the room, gets up and puts his
paper into a machine.

VOICE
Pass. 100%.

Keith's joy is evident.

PAN TO:

EXT. SCHOOL.

He walks from the school, elated and ecstatic.

KEITH
The Cereal!

A certain excitement grips him. He runs home.

CUT TO:

KITCHEN.

Keith runs in.

KEITH
CEREAL!!!

He grabs a bowl and spoon, placing them on the table, then
finds the cupboard. He rips the door open, and-

-his smile vanishes.

It is empty.

KEITH
Wha... No... It was... But... MY
CEREAL!!!!! NO!!!

He doubles over.

KEITH
GONE!!! IT... I... I...

He begins to rock himself comfortingly.

KEITH
I... I... I... I...

He notices a note.

He grabs it, and reads.

KEITH
"My dear brother, you may have
noticed that your box of Ceres'
Serpent Cereal has vanished. I
have taken it, for I couldn't stand
the jealousy of you consuming it,
while I am fed bread and water. If
you want it, follow the trail...

Love, John.
PS I took the vinegar and
knives. Hope you don't plan on
corroding steel anytime soon."

He looks up, curiously, some hope restored.

KEITH
A trail?

Out the door, on a tree, is a part of a box.

Keith runs outside.

CUT TO:

DRIVEWAY.

He grabs the piece of box.

KEITH
It's a trail... The letter was
right!

He runs down the driveway.

CUT TO:

ROAD.

Keith finds a part of the box in a puddle.

CUT TO:

BRIDGE.

A piece of box is floating down the river.

CUT TO:

BOTTOM OF CLIFF.

Keith is wandering about.

KEITH
It must be here somewhere...

He notices an odd structure, made of stones and sticks. On
top of it is the remains of the box.

KEITH
Aha!

He greedily runs to it and looks inside. It is all gone.

KEITH
NO!!!! YOU ATE IT JOHN!!!

JOHN
Indeed I did.

Keith looks up. John is at the top of the cliff, grinning.

KEITH
GIVE ME MY CEREAL YOU-

JOHN
If I can't have cereal, neither can
you.

Keith notices cereal flakes littered around.

KEITH
You liar!

JOHN
Oh, alright, have it back.

In his hands are some flakes. Keith looks hopeful.

John throws them at him.

Screaming-

Keith falls to the floor, mortally wounded.

KEITH
You... you...

JOHN
Razer flakes. Pretty handy, for
killing insolent brothers.

KEITH
You're just jealous-

JOHN
Indeed. But now, all the cereal in
the world is mine! Forget stupid
corn identification tests! My
inventions far surpass those of
Will Ceres. They thought I was
mad! MAd!! MAD!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Keith agrees, then grunts in agony.

JOHN
But now, you mustn't die in pain, I
never wanted that.

A grin spreads across John's face. He pulls out a carton of
milk.

JOHN
Night night...

KEITH
You stole that from-

John begins pouring the cereal.

Keith screams in agony.

JOHN
ACIDIC MILK!!! You have your
flakes, and your milk... What else
is needed in a bowl of
cereal? Besides a bowl, of
course...?

Keith, gasping for breath, dies ungracefully.

JOHN
Mine... ALL MINE!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

PAN TO:

PROPHECY ROOM.

FORTUNE TELLER
The line was broken, the cereal
extinct, the descendant
dead. Cereal fans everywhere
mourned the loss...

CUT TO:

FUNERAL.

Funeral for a box of Ceres' Serpent Cereal takes place.

People are breaking down.

A man carries a box towards a hole in the ground, and puts
it in.

Someone throws dirt on top.

MINISTER
(half inaudible)
Created by Will Ceres... 149
years... Lost, but never
forgotten...

PAN TO:

KITCHEN.

Camera zooms in on the empty bowl of cereal.

FORTUNE TELLER
(V.O)
And Keith Ceres never did
experience the pleasure of...
Ceres... Serpent... Cereal...

CUT TO:

END.





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