INT. OFFICE - DAY
and overweight. The door to his office slams open, and a
thin, tall and impeccably groomed man stalks into the
office, he is Wattson, carrying a smaller, less nicely
dressed man under his arm, Shale. He throws the smaller man
into the desk.
Mr. Strongfold, I brought the man
you wanted to see.
Thank you, Wattson. Mr. Shale,
you’re a moron, and I don’t like
Shale is rubbing the area of impact and whining when he
touches a tender spot.
You need to lighten up, it was only
a joke. Making Watts come and get
me was really unnecessary, what I
did wasn’t bad enough for you to
sic your Rottweiler on me!
The road to hell is paved with good
intentions, Mr. Shale.
A knock on the office door.
Who the hell could it be this time?
An attractive man enters leisurely with his hands stuffed in
his pockets. He’s charismatic and smiles from ear to
ear. He is Gavin.
Watts wasn’t at his desk, so I
figured I was too late. Looks like
I made it in time, though. Cayce
told me you took my little buddy
Shale to see Mr. Strongfold, Watts.
Yes, and it is no business of
yours, or of your little
Gavin doesn’t have a
girlfriend. He has a harem.
Gavin wraps an arm around Shale’s shoulders playfully.
(To Mr. Strongfold)
Damien, if you let people know you
sweat over the little stuff like
this, you’re sending the
competition the wrong signal.
He broke the company contract.
Everything is always so black and
white to you, Watts. You and I are
going to have some serious R n’ R
As if I would go anywhere or do
anything with you.
It’s okay if you’re too shy to
admit you want to be one of the
You’re all digressing!
The phone on Mr. Strongfold’s desk rings. Mr. Strongfold
picks up the receiver.
MR. STRONGFOLD (cont’d)
What? Fine, bring it to my office.
Your blood pressure must be through
Should I give him directions to the
unemployment office now or later?
Whatever he did couldn’t possibly
that bad, Damien.
Enough. Don’t be so informal with
Mr. Strongfold. You came to defend
Mr. Shale without knowing what he
Yeah, I’ll always stand up for my
All I did was change Mr.
Strongfold’s schedule around. It’s
Watts fault for letting me hang
around his desk.
More proof he wants to be in on the
Super Bowl party at Dame’s place.
Don’t refer to Mr. Strongfold so
What did you make him go do?
Well, first I contacted everyone
and got it straightened out that
things were going to be put off a
bit. I said it was a family
emergency, so all the contractors
and reps had no hard feelings for
the meetings being rescheduled.
What did you make him do?
He chaperoned his son’s field trip
to the zoo, had a nice dinner with
his wife at an upscale Italian
restaurant and after that he went
for a ride in a helicopter with his
wife over the bay during the
fireworks last Thursday. Perfect
show of fatherhood and a night of
romance, if I do say so myself!
I don’t understand what you’re so
angry about, Damien.
That was Daniels on the
phone. Because I wasn’t here for
the rep from Irmsham to look over
the product, he’s decided to bring
it to me personally.
Daniels isn’t so bad. I think he’s
an interesting guy.
The office door swings open. A man in tropical-themed three
piece suit sashays to the desk with a thick folder of paper.
Hey, Daniels, I like your
monocle! It’s a big upgrade from
the eye patch.
If it hadn’t interfered with my
work I would have kept it for a few
more days. This is overview of the
Daniels drops the hefty folder on Mr. Strongfold’s desk.
This is it?
I admit that I could have been more
thorough with my report. And maybe
I should have doubled up on the
testing to be sure of the results,
but everything is done on time, as
This is the final design, correct?
N-No! It isn’t! Don’t look at it
yet! I-I’ll go fix it. Sorry for
wasting your time!
Daniels picks up the file folder and speeds out the office
door, coat tails trailing behind.
Look what you did, Watts! You hurt
If you didn’t always have that sour
look on your face people wouldn’t
always think you were angry or
didn’t like what you saw. You
probably pushed the project back
another three months with a comment
Th-There was nothing wrong with the
Then why did you open your
mouth? We all know that Daniels is
as much of a genius as he is crazy.
Eccentric, Dame, he’s eccentric.
Fine, he’s eccentric. Gavin has a
point. You always look like you’re
constipated. It isn’t a good face
for dealing with the design team.
I do not look consti-
Your face gets all scrunched and
your lip curls a little. It looks
something like this.
Shale makes a ridiculous face.
I don’t need a comment from you, of
all people! You’re the one who
instigated this whole situation.
A man with bright blond hair enters the office. He doesn’t
make eye contact with anyone. He places a file on Mr.
Strongfold’s desk, and a single piece of paper on top of it,
explaining the file. He turns and starts to leave. Gavin
grabs his arm, halting his escape.
C-Can I help you?
Who are you, and why haven’t I met
Thor Vick, Billing and
Accounting. Please let go.
You’re a new guy? Billing and
Accounting works closely with
Sales, and Sales is my section, if
you need help getting adjusted just
come see me!
Will do, thank you. I’ll come see
you later if you let me go now.
Thor, you’ve been with the company
longer than Gavin, what are you
Please let go.
Look at me. Look at me!
Are we just going to let him
terrify Mr. Vick?
Gavin will understand soon enough.
You don’t get it, Mr.
Strongfold. Gavin loves a
Thor’s working on some pretty
important projects now. If Gavin
makes him retreat even further into
Gavin forces Thor to look at him.
See, eye contact isn’t so scary.THOR
Horrifying. Please let go.
Hey, you’re a good looking guy!
Shit. Here we go.
It’s settled! You’re coming
drinking with me and the
guys. With a good looking guy like
you around, we’ll definitely
attract more ladies.
Not interested. Please let me go.
Office door slams open. A man and a woman enter.
Mr. Strongfold, I demand you fix
What’s the problem this time?
Mr. Strongfold personally assigned
both of us for this project, but
Maya refuses to let me help her!
Maybe she doesn’t need help.
Thank you, Watts, it’s good to know
there is at least one sensible man
on God’s great earth.
Wattson laughs nervously, and shuffles his feet.
What’s the problem?
It’s fine, Maya, let me do the
talking. I simply wanted to look
over her work.
Please let me go.
You face the same problem every
day, Brennan, so focus on your half
of the project and let Maya work on
hers, alone. When you’re both done
– and I mean done – compare notes.
Daniels stomps into the office with a large bowl of exotic
I think there’s a tarantula in this
I’ll introduce you to some nice
Call the exterminator.
I just want to see what you’re
working on. The way you’re hiding
it from me is very suspicious!
But I want to keep it as a pet!
A large woman in a gray smock enters carrying two large
grocery bags. Her voice is high and shrill, and it rises
and falls much like a siren.
DAMIEN! YOU DID NOT TAKE YOUR LUNCH
Maryann, this is not the time.
Please don’t look at me like
that. Let me go, please.
HOW DOES SUCH AN IMPORTANT MAN
THINK HE CAN IGNORE HIS HEALTH?
Maybe you should come back at
another time, Maryann.
I bet with enough alcohol in you,
you’ll be a pretty fun guy.
YOU CAN’T MAKE UP FOR POOR
I’m sure we don’t frequent the same
bars. Please let go!
Maya, you’re being entirely
Well, then I’ll introduce you to a
great topless bar.
Lord above, please forgive my
murderous urges! I’m sure you
What do tarantulas eat?
What I did wasn’t that bad. I bet
your wife was really happy and your
son called to thank me.
Let me go.
It isn’t a woman’s place to keep
I’ll show you the glory land that
is the topless bar.
I’m sure God will forgive me if my
foot finds its place up your ass!
Not interested in relationships,
women or alcohol. Please let go.
Uh, does anyone have anti-venom on
EAT, DAMIEN, YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR
You have to come along. You look
like you haven’t had fun since the
day you were born. Women can liven
up any man’s life!
You broke the company contract.
Chaos ensues. Each talk over one another.
I don’t like women. Please Is my hand supposed to be
let me go. this red and puffy?
God doesn’t like men So, can I have a raise?
who feel superior for no
Do I really look EAT, DAMIEN, EAT!
BRENNAN MR. STRONGFOLD
A man should always check I knew I should have become
on a woman’s work. a doctor like mother said.
Are you kidding? EVERYONE
likes women, even women
bickering, convincing and
ordering as required for each
Fighting fades with the lights.