SCENE: 10/7/2000. Early morning. Two blonde twins are sitting on the bed talking away. And one of them appears to be pregnant. They are VENUS and NEPTUNE.
NEPTUNE: Are you ready for your due date? It's coming quickly. But not until next week of course.
VENUS: I know. This baby is ready. She is kicking to get out. She is killing me. I can't go anywhere without getting kicked or punched or head butted.
NEPTUNE: Babies can head butt?
VENUS: I don't know. I'm just saying stuff that hurts.
NEPTUNE: Lucky me, I never had any of that happen.
VENUS: (Punches Neptune’s arm) Now you have.
NEPTUNE: Ow! (Punches Neptune back)
(Neptune & Venus have a punch fight)
VENUS: Oh.(Claws Neptune arm) I think I'm going into labor! Where’s Aaron?
NEPTUNE: I don't know.
VENUS: Is mom here?
NEPTUNE: No but dad is. I'll go get him. (Goes downstairs to get Mr. Yelillio)
MR. YELILLIO: What's up sport?
NEPTUNE: Venus just went into labor.
MR. YELILLIO: Let's go get her then.
NEPTUNE: You seem awfully calm.
MR. YELILLIO: (Runs up the stairs) I have dealt with this for 4 times. Venus?
VENUS: In here. (Walks into room)
MR. YELILLIO: It's o.k. (Helps Venus up) We'll take you to the hospital.(Walks down the stairs with Venus) Boy does this bring memories back.
NEPTUNE: I set the seat up for her.
MR. YELILLIO: Good. (Walks outside)
VENUS: (Sits on seat) this is painful.
(Cut to: At the hospital. Neptune is on the phone talking to VENUS’s boyfriend)
NEPTUNE: Aaron get your but to the hospital right now.
AARON: What's the matter Veen?
NEPTUNE: It's Neptune! Venus is having your kid! She has gone into labor, almost 10 minutes ago.
AARON: I'll be there as quick as possible.
NEPTUNE: (Hangs phone up) Aaron will be coming.
VENUS: O.k. that'll be soon right.
(15 minutes later)
AARON: I'm here!
VENUS: Too late.
AARON: I missed her didn't I?
VENUS: Sorry but yeah.
NEPTUNE: Here's some reassuring news.
NEPTUNE & VENUS: She looks just like you.
VENUS: (Uncovers the babies face) See just like you. Would you like to name her? (Holds Baby up to Aaron) After all she is your child.
AARON: (Takes the baby) I would love to. How about Vanessa?
AARON: Did you use the drug or did you go original?
VENUS: I went original. Drugs are not good at all.
DOCTOR: Yes now we have to put you to sleep.
VENUS: You’re killing me?!?!
DOCTOR: No no no. You’re going to fall asleep in about 60 seconds. (Puts mask on Venus) Count to 10.
VENUS:1,2,3,4,5 yawn, 6,7,8...
DOCTOR: 9 and 10.
NEPTUNE: How long is going to be out?
DOCTOR: Oh (backs away from Venus) I say until tomorrow. You will be able to take her and Vanessa home tomorrow if they both appear healthy. Hand the child to me. Then we can check her out.
AARON: (talking in a tiny voice) Bye. Bye. Daddy will be watching. Oh yes I will. Yes I will (Hands baby to Doctor)
Mr. Yelillo: Bye Vanessa. Congratulations Aaron. You’re now a father. (Pats Aaron on the back)
AARON: I missed my first child being born. I'm a bad dad.
Mr. Yelillo: It's fine boy she was only in labor for 20-30 minutes. Then the baby came popping out.
AARON: I will never forget this moment. Worst day of my life.
NEPTUNE: It can't be that bad.
AARON: It is worse than the time I ate that fly that fly in my mouth.
NEPTUNE: You can always have another kid. Then you can witness that one.
10/8/2000. The next day. 11:30. VENUS and AARON are in the room. VENUS is starring at VANESSA.
VENUS: (Starring down at crib) My beautiful mocha baby. Oh how I love you Vanessa. My first child you be so beautiful. I'm never going to take my eyes off you.
AARON: I get it. You love Vanessa.
VENUS: I love you too.
AARON: I heart ya. That reminds me; my parents want me to come with the baby today. I want you to come.
VENUS: I would but you know how your parents hate me. They just stare at me like I'm a wet dog on the couch. Or dirty underwear that no one wants to pick up.
AARON: NO need to be the little girl who cried wolf.
VENUS: It's true! They do not like me.
AARON: You have to come, your Vanessa’s mommy.
AARON: No worries I'll protect you from the big bad wolves.
VENUS: That was so funny I forgot to laugh.
AARON: Someone’s Crabby Tabby today.
VENUS: Shut up. So should we start to pack up than?
VENUS: Come on talk.
AARON: (Zips lip)
VENUS: Un-shut up.
AARON: Yes we should pack up. We have to get be there today though so don't dilly dally.
VENUS: What makes you think I will?
AARON: Seems like something you do.
VENUS: You're getting on my nerves today.
AARON: Whoop-de-do for me. (Packs pouch bag)
VENUS: (Packs hand bag with diapers and her wallet) Let's go. (Picks Vanessa up)
AARON: Let me hold her. (Venus gives Vanessa to Aaron and Vanessa barfs on him)
VENUS: (Starts laughing) You got barfed on!
AARON: (Smiles and Frowns at the same time) This feels weird. A Little sticky.
VENUS: I guess that means that I don't have to go to your parents’ house.
AARON: Yeah I guess so but were still going. I just have to change.
VENUS: (Jumps up and down in anger) No No Nooo.
(Venus is sitting in car then Aaron knocks on the window and Venus rolls it down)
AARON: Come on you have to come in.
VENUS: I’ll stay in here the whole trip if I have to.
AARON: They are mostly focused on our child. They won’t worry about you. Pretty please darling. I love you. So my parents will have to get used to you.
VENUS: Fine. I’ll come with… only if you hold my hand inside.
AARON: Deal, my sweet.
VENUS: (Opens door) Thank you.
AARON: (Grabs Venus’s hand) Are you happy?
(Aaron and Venus walk inside the house)
YANA: There’s my precious daughter in law. (Hugs Venus)
VENUS: (Venus looks weird) We are not married.
JA’SHON: Sure you are! That’s what Aaron said.
VENUS: So we are married?
AARON: (Nervous) Uh? Yeah! Duh? We got married when my parents were in Sweden. (Winks)
VENUS: Right we did get married. It’s a shame you had to miss it. It wasn’t that big of one. So you’re ok.
YANA: I would love to see photos.
AARON: We didn’t have a photographer.
JA’SHON: That is a darn shame.
YANA: Any wedding cake left?
JA’SHON: At least tell us who the witnesses were.
AARON: (Loses Temper) Fine! We never had a wedding. I only told you that because you guys were always so mean to her. When I called you to tell you we were having a baby you guys started reminiscing about how we should have gotten married before we even thought to have a child. And Blah blah blaaaah. I hate how you two disapprove of her. She’s nice to you and everyone else. I find she is a wonderful mother too. I love this woman can’t you tell. It’s hard not to feel guilty when you two hate her! It makes me feel like I have a bad taste in girls. This is my girl no matter how much you hate her!
VENUS: Aaron don’t be ungrateful. These are your parents, the ones who brought you into the world.
AARON: These are my parents. That brought me to a world of rejection. Monkey sauce!
(Venus runs over to Vanessa and covers her ears)
(Shows Aaron yelling then he stops)
VENUS: Vanessa, whenever daddy says monkey sauce cover your ears.
10/18/2000. 4:00pm. AARON comes out from another room and sits on the couch next to MR. YELILLIO.
AARON: Don’t go in there I finally got Vanessa to sleep.
Mr. Yelillo: I understand. Neptune and Venus were a bundle of misgive. Terrance was worse.
AARON: At least Venus and I didn’t have twins.
Mr. Yelillo: Yeah. Twins are hard.
AARON: Can I take a nap here? Vanessa is only 10 days-.
Mr. Yelillo: Old and she is tiring you out already. This will happen every night. Venus said the same thing this morning. Go ahead have a rest. Lay down put your feet up. You can use the guest bed.
AARON: Thank you. (Makes way to guest room) Perfect. (Collapses on bed and falls asleep)
TERRANCE: (Closes door) This is for taking my sister. (Pulls out yarn ball and makes a spider web around the four post bed)
AARON: Vanessa got to sleep.
TERRANCE: Waa! (Puts whipped cream on Aaron’s hand and tickles his nose with a feather) Tickle. I should use an erasable marker but that’s no fun! (Takes sharpie from pocket and writes dork on his forehead) Dork. (Writes mean on his cheek) Meanie.
(Aaron puts whipped cream hand on face)
(Aaron wakes up and runs into the spider web)
AARON: What in the world? (Scratches face) Ew. Gross. (Sees scissors and grabs them then a paint bucket full of pink paint dumps onto Aaron) Terrance! I’m going to get him. (Snips through some strings and feathers launch) What else do you have in store for me? (Looks around) It looks safe. (Gets out of the bed and makes his way to the door then slips on butter) Ow! Ow! Oh that hurts. That really hurts. (Stands up and walks out door)
Mr. Yelillo: (Shouts from other room) Aaron, Venus is home now.
AARON: Thanks. (Walks into room)
VENUS: (Working on homework with Vanessa on her lap) Hi Aaron.
NEPTUNE: (Looks up) Venus look.
VENUS: (Looks up) Aaron! What happened to you?
AARON: It rhymes with menace.
VENUS: Oh Terrance!
TERRANCE: I see you enjoyed your sleep.
VENUS: Terrance why did you do that? That was bad. Bad! Bad! Bad!
AARON: Give him some credit. He just made a bunch a chain reaction pranks.
(Mr. Yelillo walks into room)
Mr. Yelillo: Hello Mr. Pink man.
AARON: I bet I look like a fool.
VENUS: (Gives Vanessa to Neptune and stands up) You look fine. (Kisses Aaron)
10/19/2000. At school around 2:30.
VENUS: Neptune. I have detention today after school. Do you think you can watch Vanessa for me?
NEPTUNE: She’s not my kid.
VENUS: Just until Aaron gets off of work.
NEPTUNE: What about mom or dad?
VENUS: They’re leaving as soon as we get home. Remember they’re going on that trip to Houston?
NEPTUNE: Right but you always ask me to back you up.
VENUS: Because you’re smart, and kind. You’re my sister.
NEPTUNE: How do you know I don’t have plans?
VENUS: You never have plans.
NEPTUNE: Well today I do!
VENUS: What are you doing then?
NEPTUNE: I uh am (Sees a boy) Hey Brandon. Do you want to go out with me tonight?
Brandon: Oh yes! I’ll pick you up at 7:00.
NEPTUNE: I’m going out with Brandon.
VENUS: Ha! At 7 though! Aaron will come over and get Vanessa by 5:30.
NEPTUNE: Oh! Venus! Why do you have to be so hard? I don’t want to wound up watching Vanessa every time you get a detention.
VENUS: You won’t mom and dad will. You’ll only be watching her tonight. She’ll stay asleep most of the night.
NEPTUNE: Fine I’ll do it.
VENUS: You’ll have to feed her when you get home.
(Venus runs away)
(Vanessa is crying)
NEPTUNE: (Picks Vanessa up) Come here you. (Talking in a baby voice) Mamma tricked me. I have to watch you tonight then I have a date with a guy I don’t even like. Mommy got detention! Daddy is at work! Grandma and grandpa are going to Houston! I have you until 5:30! You won’t be a trouble, will you? Hopefully not, three hours are terribly wrong with a baby. Hey maybe I’ll get paid.
(A loud knock comes to the door)
NEPTUNE: I’m coming! (Makes her way to door and opens it)
THAI: Neptune I understand your home alone.
NEPTUNE: What do you want Mr. Felipe?
THAI: Call me Thai please. Is this yours? (Takes baby out Neptune’s hands)
NEPTUNE: Mr. Felipe, give my niece back!
THAI: This is your sister’s thing. (Pushes Neptune inside of house) Listen I came here for a reason. (Shuts door with foot)
NEPTUNE: Give me Vanessa. (Takes Vanessa then puts her in crib) What are you here for? (Places hands on hips)
THAI: You know the usual, sugar, cup of coffee, and maybe a kiss from you.
THAI: (Steps closer to Neptune) You can’t refuse me.
NEPTUNE: Watch me do it again. No. (Steps back) Now will you please leave?
THAI: No. (Grabs Neptune by the waist) How about that kiss?
NEPTUNE: Let go of me, I have a date tonight, you’re double my age.
THAI: Just because I’m 32 doesn’t mean we can’t be together.
NEPTUNE: (Raises voice) Mr. Felipe! I ask that you remove your hands from my waist at this moment!
THAI: (Removes hands from Neptune’s waist) I want you to be mine.
NEPTUNE: Please leave now.
THAI: (Takes Neptune and tosses her to the couch. He immediately jumps onto her and pins her hands against the side) How about that kiss?
NEPTUNE: (Screaming the words) Let go of me! (Kicking her feet and trying to free her hands) Get off of me! Let me free! Mr. Felipe release me from your grip.
THAI: (Leans in to kiss Neptune)
AARON: (Walks into house) What’s going on here?
NEPTUNE: Aaron! Help me!
AARON: (Walks over to Thai and Neptune and yanks Thai off of Neptune and punches him) Are you okay?
NEPTUNE: (Gasping) Yes. Thank you so much.
AARON: What are you doing messing with my sister? (Punches Thai) Huh?
(Thai is about to collapse)
AARON: Come here! (Picks Thai up and drags him to door and throws him outside)
NEPTUNE: (Sits up in couch) Thank you so much Aaron. I don’t what else to say. That guy keeps on trying to rape me.
AARON: Have you ever called the cops? (Closes door)
NEPTUNE: Yes. I have multiple times. He is a cop so he gets away with it.
AARON: That’s bad.
NEPTUNE: This is why I’m so tempted to leave and live on my own.
AARON: You should leave. You would have some freedom and you wouldn’t have to deal with him. (Sits on couch next to Neptune) Thank you for watching Vanessa. Venus and I really appreciate this. I’ll pay you. (Hands 20 dollars to Neptune)
NEPTUNE: Thanks. I’m can’t leave until I turn 18.
AARON: He is just a jerk.