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Airstar Flyer Season 1 Episode 1

Script By: NEONETWORK
Humor



This series is a series I would never pitch to a network, so it's not serious like Faulkner and Bruce of The Real World: Ithaca, it's just for fun and its based off of an E-mail show I wrote on the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki about Homestar's cousin, Airstar and his pet The Chuck and his Nephew Schoolstar, who all live in a blimp that floats around Free Country USA in the Homestar Runner Universe. The HRF Wiki is gone, but I wanted to continue these stories. I wrote this one around Thanksgiving 2010, so don't be confused, it's about The Chuck planning a Thanksgiving party that Airstar wants to spice up. (DISCLAIMER: ALL HOMESTAR RUNNER CHARACTERS FEATURED IN THIS SCRIPT ARE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF THE BROTHERS CHAPS, MIKE AND MATT CHAPMAN, AND I DO NOT CLAIM RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, AND ARE USING THEM IN THIS STORY UNDER THE LEGEL PRECEDENT OF FAIR USE.)


Submitted:Dec 20, 2010    Reads: 42    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


TV-PG DL
"AIRSTAR FLYER"
BROUGHT TO YOU BY PEPTO-BISMOL
(We start with Airstar in the kitchen.)
AIRSTAR: Man, where is the damn turkey?
(Takes out The Chuck and plops him on the counter.)
THE CHUCK: MEH!
AIRSTAR: That's not it.
THE CHUCK: PUT ME DOWN, JERK!
AIRSTAR: Okay. (Puts him down.)
THE CHUCK: So Schoolstar and I are planning a Thanksgiving party.
AIRSTAR: Who the hell has parties for thanksgiving?
THE CHUCK: Cool people. You familiar with that?
AIRSTAR: So what is this a roman orgy? A kegger? A toga party?
THE CHUCK: No we're uh…going to play…pin the tail on the turkey…
AIRSTAR: Jesus, The Chuck. That's weak.
THE CHUCK: Well…whatever. I don't care what you think.
AIRSTAR: Yes you do.
THE CHUCK: Yes I do. HOW DO I MAKE IT COOLER?
AIRSTAR: Start with that. Cooler. Get a cooler.
THE CHUCK: I don't know where to find a cooler. I only know where to stumble upon one, like when I'm walking in the woods with my friend The Cheat, or I'm at my dad's New Years Party.
AIRSTAR: Listen to me, little man, you are not a young kid anymore, you are a teen, and you need to start drinking, smoking and having anonymous sex!
THE CHUCK: Yes sir!
AIRSTAR: Don't say yes sir, tell me to go f##k myself!
THE CHUCK: Go…f##k…yourself?
AIRSTAR: GOOD BOY!
THE CHUCK: I will do this! I will make it happen!
AIRSTAR: Good. Now get the hell out of here.
THE CHUCK: OKAY!!!!
(Cut to The Chuck in Schoolstar's room in togas with a cooler full of cold ones.)
SCHOOLSTAR: This toga looks retarded on me, and you.
THE CHUCK: No it doesn't…it's flattering. Now shut the meh up and start attracting some peeps.
SCHOOLSTAR: Okay. PEEPS!
(Strong Bad and Strong Mad walk in with boxes of Peeps candy.)
THE CHUCK: What the hell is this?
STRONG BAD: Who ordered twenty crates of peeps?
THE CHUCK: TWENTY CRATES OF PEEPS??? JESUS CHRIST, THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS BLIMP TO HANDLE! THAT'S PAST OUR WEIGHT CAPACITY!
(They start to plummet towards the ground.)
ALL: WOAH!
(COMMERCIAL)
TV-PG DL
(We start with Airstar watching TV in the TV room.)
AIRSTAR: Man do I love shows about celebrities being punked seven years ago. Thank god this blimp rebounded or I wouldn't be able to watch this quality programming.
(The Chuck comes in.)
THE CHUCK: Meh!
AIRSTAR: What's that boy? Did Timmy fall in the well?
THE CHUCK: F**k you. The keg truck is here.
AIRSTAR: Oh it is? Wait, how the heck are we going to get all those kegs down there, up here?
THE CHUCK: We could bathe ourselves in Pepto-Bismol.
(Cut to Airstar and The Chuck bathing in Pepto-Bismol.)
THE CHUCK: I don't know why I thought that was a good idea.
AIRSTAR: Dude, this stuff is great. It tastes great, and my digestive health is going to be rockin'!
(Schoolstar comes in with several kegs on dollies.)
AIRSTAR: Oh my god, how the hell did you manage this?
SCHOOLSTAR: Through magic. Naw, I just landed the blimp and loaded the kegs on while you two idiots bathed in Pepto-Bismol. Anyway, this looks like it's a misprint.
AIRSTAR: How do you mean?
THE CHUCK: You sound like an assh**e when you say "How do you mean?" What do you mean?
SCHOOLSTAR: It says these are kegs of Pepto-Bismol.
AIRSTAR:…I beg your pardon?
SCHOOLSTAR: Yeah.
THE CHUCK: Aw, meh. Yeah this is just my monthly Pepto-bismol delivery. The kegs don't come until tomorrow. Damnit, I should have anticipated that.
AIRSTAR: You have got to be kidding me. This is bullcrap. WHAT THE F**K IS WITH YOU AND PEPTO-BISMOL?
THE CHUCK: It's this show's main sponsor.
AIRSTAR: Oh…s**t.
THE CHUCK: Indeed!
(They all start laughing. Cut to commercial)
TV-PG DL
(We start with Airstar, The Chuck and Schoolstar bringing kegs on board and taping turkeys to the wall.)
AIRSTAR: Finally we got the alcoholic kegs we all know and love.
THE CHUCK: Why can't we staple the turkeys onto the wall?
AIRSTAR: Because then this blimp would deflate, dumbass.
THE CHUCK: Oh yeah. Why do I always forget we're in a blimp?
AIRSTAR: Because it looks so much like a house.I started out with a damn cooler and a sleeping bag for Homestar's sake.
THE CHUCK: Okay. When are the peeps going to get here?
AIRSTAR: The peeps? Oh you mean the partygoers. Well, when does the party start?
THE CHUCK: Thanksgiving Day, 1pm.
AIRSTAR: Okay well it's December 4th, so that gives us…
(Everyone stands there awe-struck.)
AIRSTAR:Nine days…ago.
THE CHUCK: G** DAMNIT!
AIRSTAR: Hold on, don't jump to conclusions. Let's change this to aDecemberween party with kegs.
THE CHUCK: Fine. Let's get to work.
AIRSTAR: Ugh, not today. I'm exhausted. Some other day.
(Cut to twenty-two days later. Everybody is putting upDecemberween lights and mini-trees and hauling in egg knog and kegs. The Chuck is wearing a santa hat.)
AIRSTAR: Now this is aDecemberween Party. When does it start?
THE CHUCK: 7pm, Decemberween day.
AIRSTAR: Awesome. And today's the twenty-sixth, so we have plenty of time.
(An audio track scratches. Everyone stands wide-eyed.)
THE CHUCK: Sh-
(Cut to six days later, where a New Year's Party is being put together.)
AIRSTAR: This New Year's Party is going to be off the hook. Hey, does anyone know why there was fireworks last night? I mean who has fireworks on December 30th?
SCHOOLSTAR: Last night was December thirty-first.
AIRSTAR: Are you kidding me? Jesus Christ you'd think we'd have a better sense of time in this damn place.
THE CHUCK: I give up. Let's get drunk.
AIRSTAR: I second that.
(COMMERCIAL)
TV-PG DL
(We start with them wasted on the floor, cups everywhere.)
AIRSTAR: That alcohol, (hiccups) was flat as s**t.
THE CHUCK: Yeaaahh….hugghh…
END.




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