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That's My Life

Script By: shadowlight
Humor


Television Pilot


Submitted:May 27, 2011    Reads: 38    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


That's My Life "Winds Of Change" ACT ONE Scene A FADE IN: INT. THE APARTMENT - DAY. (LISA PRESENT) LISA STOPS AND CHECKS HERSELF OUT IN THE MIRROR. THEN GOES TO EXIT NOTICING SHE DOESN'T HAVE HER KEYS. SHE PANICS AND FLUTTERS AROUND SEARCHING. LISA (TO HERSELF) Oh where are they? Come on! Come on! (STOPS AND THINKS TO HERSELF) I took them... I put them... And... tada! There they are! (FROM BENEATH STACK OF MAIL) CUT TO CAR EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. (LISA) LISA HOPS INTO HER CAR AND TURNS THE KEY AS THE CAR ENGINE DIES. LISA (TO THE CAR) Oh no, no! You can't do this to me now. (ANOTHER ATTEMPT FAILS) Aagh! (IN SUBMISSION) Anthony! (WITH DELIGHT) CUT TO KITCHEN INT. THE APARTMENT - DAY. (LISA) LISA (ON THE PHONE) Yes officer... CUT TO CAR INT. HIGHWAY - CAR - DAY. (ANTHONY) ANTHONY SPEEDS DOWN THE HIGHWAY SINGING TO AC\DC. ANTHONY Shook me all night... WHEN HE NOTICES A POLICE CARS LIGHTS FLASHING BEHIND HIM, HE SEES THE SPEED LIMIT SIGN OF 55 AND NOTICES HIS SPEEDOMETER AT 72 BEFORE PULLING OVER. ANTHONY (cont.) Great. Just great! AFTER STOPPING ANTHONY REACHES INTO THE GLOVE DEPARTMENT PULLS OUT HIS CAR PAPERS, LICENSE AND A SQUIRT BOTTLE. ANTHONY (IN REARVIEW WITH WET EYES) I'm so sorry. So sorry! My mother. My poor mother's in the hospital, and I was just trying to... THE OFFICER INTERRUPTS HIM WITH HIS GUN QUICKLY POINTED AT ANTHONY FROM OUTSIDE THE DRIVERS WINDOW. OFFICER (YELLING) Get out of the vehicle with your hands on your head now! ANTHONY (SHOCKED) I'm sorry, my mother... OFFICER (Yelling) Now! ANTHONY (BEGINNING TO REALLY CRY) Okay. (SOFTLY) CUT TO POLICE STATION INT. POLICE STATION - DAY. (ANTHONY, OFFICER) ANTHONY SITS IN HANDCUFFS WITH OFFICER AT DESK. OFFICER (WRITING PAPERWORK) So your telling me that, that is your car that you stole! ANTHONY I didn't steal it! OFFICER (LOOKS UP) Are you calling me a liar young man? (STERNLY WHILE STARING) ANTHONY What? No. (OFFICER CONTINUES STARE) No! (NERVOUSLY) OFFICER (SATISFIED) Okay then. (BACK TO PAPERWORK) ANTHONY When can I get out of here, and get MY car back? OFFICER When your mother gets back with it. ANTHONY (SHOCKED) What? FADE OUT Scene B INT. BARON & BARON INC. - AFTERNOON. (LISA, MR. BANKS) BANKS' SITS BEHIND HIS DESK AS LISA ENTERS. LISA I'm sorry I am late Mr. Banks, I had some car troubles. BANKS (RISES AND WALKS AROUND) Have a seat! LISA Thank you. BANKS I need a good hair dresser. Great! Great hair dresser! My hair is important. People see it all the time. It represents my lifestyle and business! LISA Yes sir. LISA Don't worry Mr. Banks if you hire me to be your personal hair stylist you can guarantee great hair, with your great face I must say. (GIANT SMILE) BANKS Okay, but you gotta be good. I gotta have good hair. Can't let all the suits see me with bad hair. Never mind the secretaries. Stacey use to cut my hair. Whenever I needed, but now she's gone and I... -- LISA -- Really oh no, well do you know when you will have made your decision for your stylist? BANKS Well your all I've interviewed, but I want three samples so get them to me then I'll let you know. LISA (SMILING) I can do that Mr. Banks. (SHAKES HANDS AND TURNS) I'll have them for you in a day or two Mr. Banks. BANKS Okay. (SMILING IN REFLECTION) Stylist. Huh, I like that word. My hair, stylist! FADE OUT Scene C INT. JAILHOUSE - AFTERNOON. (ANTHONY, FRANKLIN) ANTHONY WITH A TERRIFIED LOOK LIES ON THE BED WRAPPED UP IN FRANKLIN'S GIANT ARM. (ENTERS LISA, GUARD) THE GUARD OPENS THE CELL DOOR. GUARD James! Your out. ANTHONY (SOFTLY TO FRANKLIN) My mom's here. (FRANKLIN DOESN'T MOVE) My mother is here! GUARD Let him go Franklin they'll be someone else soon I'm sure of it. FRANKLIN'S UNHAPPY FACE IS OVERJOYED AS HE LETS ANTHONY GO. ANTHONY RUSHES OUT AND SHAKES IT OFF. LISA (SMILING) Hi hunny. ANTHONY GIVES AN ANGRY LOOK BACK. GUARD Good news son, your mother is not pressing charges! What a good mother. Wish I had a mom like her. You, are so lucky. ANTHONY Yeah, lucky! (ANGRY-SARCASTIC TONE) GAURD (SMILING) You try and stay out of trouble now son! EXT. THE ROAD - CAR - LATE AFTERNOON. (LISA, ANTHONY) LISA What your not going to talk to me now? -- ANTHONY JUST LOOKS TO HER LISA (cont.) -- Fine, be that way. ANTHONY Why did you do that? LISA I needed the car. ANTHONY Don't you have your own? LISA Technically this is my car. It's under my name Mr. Mann. ANTHONY I still pay for it! LISA Sometimes. Plus I had a very important meeting with Mr. Banks to go to and my car wouldn't start. ANTHONY So you have me arrested!? Isn't that more work then calling them and telling them you'd be late? LISA (TO HERSELF) Mr. Banks. Doesn't that just sound like money? ANTHONY SIGHS AND LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW LISA You were probably just speeding around anyway. ANTHONY Actually! I just got a summer job, thank you very much. LISA Oh yeah, where? ANTHONY Davis's. Stocking shelves. LISA Well your getting there I guess. Some day you'll grow up to be a man! ANTHONY Someday. LISA As long as your not like your father! He was lazy and selfish and always made things harder for himself. (LOOKS AT ANTHONY) Oh my god you are your father! I tried so hard to raise you right... -- ANTHONY -- Here we go again. -- LISA -- No this is not funny now mister. You need to something with your life. Your not going to be like him. ANTHONY I think he's fine. LISA See that's what I mean. ANTHONY (ESTRANGED) Okay!? I'm going to college what more do you want right now? LISA Yes, but what are you going for? Huh? ANTHONY I don't know yet! LISA See. ANTHONY (ANOTHER ESTRANGED LOOK) No! LISA I know you never do, do you? By the way I need to cut you and your friends hair and take pictures for Mr. Banks. ANTHONY No! LISA No you can't say no. ANTHONY No! Not after the last time. LISA Oh shush, I'm better now. -- ANTHONY STARES UNBELIEVINGLY LISA (cont.) -- What? I am. So we'll do that later. (A SATISFIED SMILE) ANTHONY LOOKS WITH EYES OF WORRY FADE OUT SCENE D INT. THE APARTMENT - EVENING. (LISA, ANTHONY ENTER) LISA Oh yeah you got some mail today from the college. LISA HANDS IT TO HIM. HE READS IT WITH AN INCREASING WORRIED LOOK. LISA (cont.) What does it say? ANTHONY It says that I owe twelve thousand dollars to the college. LISA What? Let me see that. ANTHONY Apparently some of the loans didn't go through. (SITS DEFEATED) Great! Just what I needed. LISA No, there's got to be a mistake. Tomorrow we'll go down and talk to them about it. Okay? Anthony? ANTHONY Huh? Yeah, sure. FADE OUT Scene E INT. COLLEGE - FINANCIAL AID OFFICE - DAY. (ANTHONY, LISA, FINANCE OFFICER) ANTHONY SITS QUIETLY AS LISA SPEAKS WITH THE FINANCIAL ADVISOR FINANCIAL OFFICER See, his student loan went through but the parent loan didn't. So he owes this for this past year and we can talk about further years after this is taken care of. LISA And your just telling us this now!? FINANCIAL OFFICER I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do about it. CUT TO EXT. COLLEGE GROUNDS - PARKING LOT - DAY. (LISA, ANTHONY WALKING TO THE CAR) LISA I'm sorry hunny. ANTHONY I can't believe that I spent a year trying to get there just to leave after one. LISA I know. (HALF SMILE) Well, hey at least you'll be home with me more now! ANTHONY (A FAKE SMILE) Yeah, great! FADE OUT Scene F INT. THE APARTMENT - AFTERNOON. (ANTHONY) ANTHONY WATCHES TELEVISION WHEN KENDAL, CHRIS AND NATHAN ENTER. ANTHONY Hey. KENDAL (TO ANTHONY) Hey. NATHAN NODS TO ANTHONY. CHRIS (TO KENDAL) Hey. ANTHONY, KENDAL AND NATHAN BRIEFLY STARE AT CHRIS. THEN THE THREE SIT. ANTHONY So guess what. KENDAL What? CHRIS Your name isn't really Anthony! THE OTHER THREE MOMENTARILY PAUSE AND STARE AGAIN. KENDAL (BACK AT ANTHONY) What? ANTHONY I lost my loans for the school. CHRIS MAKES FOR THE KITCHEN AND THE REFRIGERATOR WHILE NATHAN STARES BRIEFLY AT EACH WALL. KENDAL And you can't get anymore? ANTHONY Apparently not. KENDAL That sucks. ANTHONY Yeah. KENDAL I told you! CHRIS Yeah he did. KENDAL (TO CHRIS) I did. CHRIS (TO KENDAL) I know. KENDAL (BACK TO ANTHONY) Okay then. ANTHONY (TO KENDAL) Anyways... -- KENDAL -- Oh yeah. I told you not to waste time with school. ANTHONY And what be more like you guys? CHRIS (MOUTH FULL OF A SANDWICH) Yeah. ANTHONY Yeah, well it looks like it's this from now on. KENDAL Great! CHRIS COMES BACK WITH A PLATE FULL OF FOOD. ANTHONY Oh yeah, I got a job though. KENDAL Where? ANTHONY Davis's. KENDAL The big grocery store! ANTHONY Yeah why? KENDAL No good! ANTHONY What? CHRIS (MUNCHING ON CHIPS) Not good! (SLOWLY) ANTHONY (TO CHRIS SLOWLY) Thank you. (TO KENDAL) Why? KENDAL I dunno. Just my brother worked there a year ago and I guess there was this lady there that drove him crazy. ANTHONY She might not be there anymore, plus... -- CHRIS -- She's there! ANTHONY How do you know? CHRIS Oh I know. ANTHONY (LEANING AND WHISPERING TO CHRIS) You scare me. -- CHRIS -- Ha ha! ANTHONY (TO KENDAL) Plus I need the job, especially now. KENDAL Well good, hopefully you'll like it better then Brian. NATHAN Yeah. KENDAL AND ANTHONY STARE AT NATHAN MOMENTARILY IN A STATE OF SHOCK. THEN KENDAL RISES FOLLOWED BY NATHAN. KENDAL So poker night tonight! ANTHONY Well watch out my mother's on a hair cutting rampage. CHRIS Free? KENDAL Did she graduate yet? ANTHONY Nope, but apparently she's found some business richy, rich looking for a stylist NATHAN Mr. Banks. THE OTHERS STARE AT NATHAN AGAIN. ANTHONY (TO NATHAN) That's scary too! (TO KENDAL) Anyways, so she went and applied. KENDAL Ah. ANTHONY And he wants samples of her work so were the dummies! CHRIS Hey. KENDAL Ah okay. CHRIS PLACES HIS EMPTY PLATE DOWN AND THE THREE MAKE TO EXIT. KENDAL So well see you tonight. ANTHONY Okay. GOES BACK TO FLIPPING CHANNELS. Oh cool, Ninja Turtles! (TOSSES THE REMOTE ASIDE) CUT TO SAME SET INT. THE APARTMENT - DAY. (ANTHONY) LISA ENTERS WITH BAGS OF GROCERIES AND WALKS IN ON ANTHONY DANCING AND SINGING TO THE MOVIE. ANTHONY Go ninja go! Go ninja go! Go nin... (SPOTS HIS MOTHER) LISA -- You never came from me! ANTHONY Kidnapper! LISA I just picked up a few things from that new job of yours at Davis's. ANTHONY STARTS HELPING TO PUT THE FOOD AWAY. ANTHONY Oh yeah!? (AN EXCITED TONE) LISA Yeah and they have probably one of the meanest ladies I've ever met working there. ANTHONY Oh yeah? (A DISAPPOINTED TONE) LISA Yeah first I asked her if she knew where the gravy was, and she just stared at me like I was something... ANTHONY Stupid? LISA Yeah. Then she points right behind me and says, there! (IN A WICKED TONE) And I felt silly and was like oh yeah right there, but she was still mean. ANTHONY Okay ma. Oh the boys are coming over tonight to play poker. LISA What if I had plans? ANTHONY You don't! LISA I could! ANTHONY But you don't. And even if you did it probably wouldn't involve the table now would it. LISA It could. (SMILING) ANTHONY STOPS MOMENTARILY IN WONDER AS LISA RETURNS TO THE FOOD. CUT TO SAME SET Scene G INT. THE APARTMENT - EVENING. (ANTHONY) KENDAL, CHRIS AND NATHAN ENTER THE APARTMENT. ANTHONY PLACES THE SNACKS ON THE TABLE. KENDAL Alright here we go. CHRIS We playing for money this time? ANTHONY How much ya got? THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER MOMENTARILY. ANTHONY Okay so no money this time. AD BREAK THE POKER GAME CONTINUES ON IN SILENCE, ANTHONY'S TURN. CHRIS Who came up with anal retentive? THE OTHERS STARE AT HIM BLANKLY. CHRIS I mean isn't retentive able to recall or something and anal is well... So put together your able to recall your ass!? THE OTHERS PRETEND TO IGNORE. KENDAL If you don't hurry up then were going to loose Chris! ANTHONY What? CHRIS I'm dying! ANTHONY What!? KENDAL He is! CHRIS I am! ANTHONY Again!? KENDAL He thinks he has cancer. CHRIS I do! See? -- AS HE PULLS THE BACK OF HIS SHIRT AWAY FOR ANTHONY TO SEE. CHRIS (cont.) -- A sistht! ANTHONY You idiot that's a pimple! CHRIS Nope a sistht! ANTHONY Oh my god! (PLACES CARDS DOWN) I win, flush! KENDAL Sorry full house! CHRIS Good show! ANTHONY (TO CHRIS) What do you have? CHRIS I got an ace baby! NATHAN THROWS DOWN HIS HAND OF FOUR OF A KIND AND TAKES THE CHIPS. ANTHONY And it's Nathan's! LISA ENTERS WIELDING HAIR CUTTING UTENSILS. LISA Alright boys who's first? CHRIS Free, right? LISA Yup, step right up into this here chair. CHRIS SITS WITH A BIG SMILE AS LISA BEGINS WHILE THE OTHER BOYS MAKE FOR THE LIVING ROOM. LISA After tonight's masterpieces I'll definitely be Mr. Bank's new hair dresser! CUT TO SAME SCENE Scene H INT. THE APARTMENT - NIGHT. (ANTHONY, CHRIS, NATHAN AND KENDAL) THE FOUR BOYS SIT IN THE LIVING ROOM STARING BLANKLY TELEVISION WITH THE WORST HAIR CUTS. ANTHONY Can't believe I have to go to work like this! KENDAL Yeah that sucks. CHRIS It does. NATHAN Yeah. THEY CONTINUE TO STARE BLANKLY AT THE TELEVISION. CHRIS I can't believe I'm going to die looking like this! ANTHONY (FRUSTRATED) Your not going to die... -- ANTHONY ATTACKS THE BACK OF HIS NECK. CHRIS -- What?... Ah... ANTHONY (POPPING THE PIMPLE) There got it! CHRIS (RISING QUICKLY) Oh my God! Oh my god! Your not suppose to do that to it! CHRIS RUSHES OUT OF THE APARTMENT. KENDAL Now you've done it! ANTHONY I know! (YAWNS AND STRETCHES) Alright, I need to sleep for work tomorrow. KENDAL Alright. I should go check on him anyway. (RISES TO EXIT) Later. ANTHONY Okay. See ya later. THE TWO BOYS EXIT AND ANTHONY HEARS A NOISE FROM LISA'S BEDROOM. SOUND: FAINT CRYING ANTHONY You okay in there? LISA Now I'll never get that job! I'm a horrible hair dresser! ANTHONY (LOOKING TO HIS HEAD) It's not that bad... LISA It is too I heard Christopher even screaming over it! ANTHONY No that's cause he has cancer, it wasn't you! LISA What? ANTHONY Never mind. LISA I can't show Mr. Bank's these photo's! ANTHONY (AFTER THINKING) Hey, he just wants picture's right? Well just take photo's out of your styling books and put them in the empty frames we got! LISA (OPENING THE DOOR) You think that will work? ANTHONY Wanna show him this? (POINTS TO HIS HEAD) LISA No! (LAUGHING) ANTHONY Okay then. (ANTHONY TURNS AWAY) LISA Wow! ANTHONY What? LISA The back of your head looks like... a baboon's butt! ANTHONY Ha, ha. (SARCASTICALLY) Goodnight! (TURNS FOR THE COUCH) LISA Goodnight... monkey-ass! ANTHONY That's it! HE SPRINTS TO THE DOOR AS SHE SLAMS IT SHUT ON HIM WHILE LAUGHING. FADE OUT ACT TWO Scene I FADE IN: INT. BARON & BARON INC. - DAY. (LISA, BANKS) LISA (NERVOUSLY) Here you go Mr. Banks! (HANDS HIM THE FRAMES) BANKS Wow, these are -- LISA -- I know what they look like Mr. Banks, but if... -- BANKS Great! Your hired! LISA Really! Really? (ECSTATIC) Thank you so much Mr. Banks you wont regret it! BANKS I better not! LISA You wont I swear! BANKS Good, I need a hair cut for tomorrow's banquet! LISA That's great, I can do that! BANKS Of course you can! You'll at my house at 8pm Laurie will give you directions. LISA (SHAKING HIS HAND) Okay. Thanks again Mr. Banks. (NOT LETTING GO) BANKS That's what I'm here for... to hire people! And fire people! LISA'S GIANT SMILE FALLS. BANKS Ha, ha! Gotcha! (THEY LAUGH, HE STOPS) But I do fire people! CUT TO Scene J INT. DAVIS'S CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT. (KEITH, BYRON, KATHY) ANTHONY ENTERS AND MEETS KEITH. KEITH That's got to be illegal! (REFERRING TO HIS HAIR) Your the new boy! ANTHONY Yes sir! KEITH I'm your manager and this is the night crew! Kathy and Byron. BYRON I'm not as scary as I look! ANTHONY Okay... KATHY (A DISGUSTING GASP FOR AIR) Eugh. ANTHONY Okay! (with a smile) KEITH You ready to get started? ANTHONY Yeah. KEITH Okay, I'm going to have you start here with Kathy. ANTHONY'S EYES MEETS KATHY'S COLD STARE FADE OUT Scene K INT. MR. BANK'S HOUSE - NIGHT. (MAID) SOUND: DOORBELL RINGS MR. BANK'S MAID ANSWERS THE DOOR TO LISA. LISA Hello I am here for Mr. Bank's hair cut. MAID Oh yes, follow me this way please. LISA ENTERS. LISA This house is amazing! MAID Oh yes. THEY MEET WITH MR. BANKS' SEATED IN ONLY A TOWEL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN FLOOR. MAID (cont.) Here is Mr. Banks! LISA (TONE OF WORRY) Sure is. MR. BANKS Lisa! I am ready for my new style from my new stylist! (WITH A GIANT SMILE) LISA Yes, it definitely looks that way. (PAUSES) PLACES HER BAG OF HAIR ACCESSORIES ON THE COUNTER. LISA (PSYCHING HERSELF UP) Okay. (AD BREAK) Scene L INT. DAVIS'S CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT. (KATHY, ANTHONY) ANTHONY CONTINUES HIS JOB OF OPENING BOXES AND PLACING THE OBJECTS ON THE SHELVES. HE FINDS IT HARD TO FIND THINGS RIGHT AWAY AS HE PAUSES MOMENTARILY IN SEARCH BETWEEN OBJECTS. KATHY There! (POINTING IN FRONT OF HIM) ANTHONY PLACES THE OBJECT IN IT'S SPOT. ANTHONY Thanks. (GETS ANOTHER OBJECT) KATHY There! ANTHONY Thanks. (GETS ANOTHER BOX) KATHY There! ANTHONY (AN ANGER HIDDEN SMILE) Thanks. (GRABS ANOTHER) KATHY There! ANTHONY RETREATS. ANTHONY I just need to go to the bathroom real quick. KATHY JUST STARES AT HIM AS IF NOT UNDERSTANDING. ANTHONY TURNS AND WALKS AWAY. ANTHONY Woah. FADE TO Scene M INT. MR. BANK'S HOUSE - NIGHT. (LISA, MR. BANKS) LISA And that should do it! (SHE TURNS HIM AROUND) Oh god! BANKS Great! Where's the mirror. LISA (SNATCHING THE MIRROR FIRST) Well, Mr. Bank's I want you to know that I was going for a new kind of look for you, one more... BANKS Yes, I am ready to see it now where is the mirror? LISA (RELUCTANTLY) Right here. BANKS (LOOKS INTO THE MIRROR) Oh my god! LISA Mr. Banks, I am... BANKS Oh my god! LISA I wanted to make you look... BANKS What is this? LISA Hipper! BANKS So it is. And I do don't I? LISA Oh yes sir, very much so! BANKS Hip! LISA So you like it!? BANKS I'm hip! Yes, of coarse I like it. Now will this be weekly? LISA Whatever you would like Mr. Banks! BANKS Good. LISA Great! Thanks allot Mr. Banks I will see you in a week! BANKS Yes, and please Lisa it's Harvey! LISA What? Oh yes, okay... Harvey. Bye. BANKS Later! LISA GIGGLES AS SHE WALKS AWAY. HER FACE LOOKS DUMBFOUNDED AS SHE TURNS. FADE OUT Scene N INT. DAVIS'S CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT. (ANTHONY, KATHY) KEITH ENTERS THE ISLE. ANTHONY'S TRYING TO BOX HIS BODY BETWEEN THE PRODUCTS AND KATHY. KEITH How we doing here? ANTHONY Fine, just fine. KATHY JUST STARES AT KEITH. KEITH Alright then, now your going to hop over to isle nine and help Byron. ANTHONY Okay! (AS HE QUICKLY EXITS) ANTHONY ENTERS ISLE NINE WHERE BRYON STANDS WORKING AND TALKING TO HIMSELF. HE STOPS TO THE SIGHT OF ANTHONY. ANTHONY I was suppose to come help you out here. BYRON Yeah. (PAUSE) ANTHONY BEGINS WORKING. BYRON You ever in Nam? ANTHONY No! BYRON (DISAPPOINTED) Oh. ANTHONY I wasn't even born yet! BYRON I know! I mean like another life or something! ANTHONY Um... okay. Yeah it's still, no! BYRON (A BLANK STARE) I was in Nam! Nam was different. ANTHONY What? (SEES HIS STARE) KEITH! ANTHONY DROPS HIS BOX AND RUSHES OUT TO FIND KEITH. CUT TO SAME SCENE ANTHONY AND KEITH STAND IN THE SAME ISLE WORKING. KEITH How's it going over there? ANTHONY Oh, great! I'm just happy to be working here now! KEITH Yeah those two can be tough to take sometimes. ANTHONY Yeah tell me about it! KEITH I just did! ANTHONY (AWKWARDLY AGREEING WITH HIM) Yeah, I guess you did. KEITH Hey, do you believe in the afterlife? ANTHONY Sometimes I do. KEITH Sometimes you do! You either do or you don't! ANTHONY Well then I guess I do! But I think I believe that they are not of any physical sense. That it is merely a spiritual type of thing like thought or something. KEITH What about right and wrong? ANTHONY Yeah I believe in right and wrong. KEITH No, do you know what's right and wrong? ANTHONY Well, I think that depends on how were raised. KEITH The government controls it! ANTHONY What? KEITH Yup, they do! How do you know what's up and what's down? Or even if up is up and down is down? Huh? ANTHONY I don't know. But... -- KEITH -- Exactly! ANTHONY -- But it wouldn't really matter anyway! KEITH Yeah it does! ANTHONY No I don't think it would matter much if down was up or up was down as long as there's a common knowledge of something small such as a title for communication value that's all that matters. KEITH Nope! It matters! What about aliens? ANTHONY What? Aliens? Can I just work? KEITH The alien brotherhood is out there? ANTHONY Are you serious? KEITH They're going to comeback to Earth and find out that we destroyed it and vaporize us all! Your not an alien are you? ANTHONY What? No! KEITH With the government? ANTHONY (FRUSTRATED) No! KEITH Okay. (GIVES A WEARY LOOK AROUND) ANTHONY (LOOKING TO THE CEILING) I'm sorry for all I've done wrong! KEITH MOVES A PRODUCT BOX OUT OF THE WAY IN A PANIC AND LOOKS BEHIND IT. ANTHONY WATCHES ON WITH FRIGHTENED EYES. FADE OUT Scene O INT. THE APARTMENT - MORNING. (LISA) ANTHONY ENTERS EXHAUSTED. ANTHONY Fired yet? LISA Nope! As a matter of fact he liked it! ANTHONY Is he bald? LISA No I just did a good job thank you very much! ANTHONY So he's insane! LISA I can't help it if some people's hair actually cooperates with me! ANTHONY Oh yeah, my bad! Stupid hair! LISA Anyway how was your day? You look really tired! ANTHONY In my head! It was horrible! First of all I didn't know where a thing went. And every time I went to look for it I would have that lady breathing down my neck pointing out the spot as if I was LISA Stupid! ANTHONY Yeah! (MIMICKING KATHY) There! There! Here! There! What do you got? There! And the other two are just crazy! LISA So you working tomorrow? ANTHONY Yes! (DEPRESSINGLY) Scene P ROLL CREDITS INT. DAVIS'S CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT (ANTHONY, KATHY) ANTHONY PULLS OUT AN ITEM TRYING TO BOX HIS BODY BETWEEN THE ITEM AND KATHY. KATHY What do you got? (he reluctantly shows her) There! (she points in front of him) ANTHONY PUTS IT AWAY WITH ALMOST TEARS IN HIS EYES. CUT TO INT. BARON & BARON INC. - DAY. (BANKS) BANK'S STRUTS HIS STUFF DOWN THE HALLWAY PROUDLY WITH NO TIE AND TOP BUTTONS UNDONE. EVERYONE IS APPALLED AT HIS HAIR. BANKS Hey! What's up! (GIVES TWO THUMBS UP) Yo! Hey dudes! Watch out now! END




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