Black Maid 1 – skinny, gossiping madam’s maid, in full Traditional Apartheid Era Outfit, doek & all
Black Maid 2 – large, gossiping madam’s maid, in full Traditional Apartheid Era Outfit, doek & all
MAIDS GOSSIPING - characters are over the top gossipers and react to each other constantly with hand gestures, clapping and the like:
Maid 1: Hello Madam’s maid!
Maid 2: Yebo, sawubona umadam’s maid.
Maid 1: How is your life today?
Maid 2: Ngikona, wena unjani?
Maid 1: Hm hm hm I would say I can’t complain, but I’d be lying!
Maid 2: Serious?
Maid 1: Serious!
Maid 2: How, my friend, it is not good to lie, you must tell me the truth.
Maid 1: Serious?
Maid 2: Serious!
Maid 1: OK madam’s maid, then I must complain and give you the truth so I can have some reconciliation.
Maid 2: Yes wena, that’s the best statement.
Maid 1: Umadam’s maid, u-madam-wami has so much money and I have so little. Umadam has plasma and I have black and white.
Maid 2: Haibo, you have your own home in the township! Your children go to private school, you get so much food from your madam and you get free transport because your man’s a taxi driver!
Maid 1: It’s the truth, but I think madam has so much more.
Maid 2: No, madam has more stress, more bank charges and more debt! Remember you told me last week that she was selling her car.
Maid 1: Eish I don’t think she is selling her car to get out of debt, I think she’s buying a bigger car! U – what’s it? Ah, E-Hummer!
Maid 2: Hau! How do you know that?
Maid 1: How can I? But I think it’s true. These white people don’t talk; they don’t want u-maid to listen, so how can I tell if it is true?
Maid 2: White people are very private, not like us where we tell the whole family. I told my mother that I met a man, and my mother told her sister, her sister told her cousin, and her cousin told her boyfriend, who is friends with this man; and now the man won’t stop calling me!
Maid 1: Haai ngege!
Maid 2: So my madam is shouting at me for being on the phone too much. If my mother was quiet like the white ladies, then I wouldn’t be on the phone.
Maid 1: Yes, but if your mother was quiet like the white madam then you wouldn’t have your man calling you!